Ok, we’ve all heard it before.  True beauty isn’t what’s on the outside, our physical appearance.  True beauty is what is on the inside, and this is true.  I know that I aspire to excellence in character, even though it often doesn’t seem like it (my hubby and kids can tell you some ‘not-so-nice’ stories).  The Bible also talks about how “charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” -Proverbs 31:30.  Women can be very powerful by using their beauty to entice men or for selfish ambition to get what they want, unfortunately.  Of course we should never try to make ourselves beautiful with the intention of attracting the attention of some man that’s not our husband or because of our greediness or covetous desires-using our beauty as a tool to get what we want.  I do, however, have to wonder why I feel so yucky and down when I don’t look beautiful or when I don’t put any effort into my physical appearance.  I can’t help but think that if God is the author and designer of beauty and if he made women beautiful, with breasts, soft skin and curves, then what’s the problem with paying attention to how I look, dress, or physically present myself.

I remember when I was doing a music school in Australia, the girls/young women generally didn’t really take care of their appearance or place much of an importance on it.  I remember overhearing one girl say to a group of friends something along the lines of how she doesn’t dress nice in day to day life because when some special event did come along and she dressed nice and put that extra effort into her appearance people would think she looked AMAZING!  My husband thought that that way of thinking was ridiculous (he’s Brazilian and generally Brazilian women don’t think that way).  I didn’t think it was ridiculous, however, I did think that it was kind of a mentality or way of thinking that had developed amongst this certain group of people.  Throughout the duration of my school, I always took care to dress and present myself in an appealing way.  Not for anybody else’s benefit, but for my own.  I had one girl send me a note once, along with an old skirt of hers that I really liked, and on the note it said that she wanted to give me that skirt as a gift and that she thought that I was such an elegant woman.  I was really blessed by that comment.  All because I took an extra few minutes in the morning to place an importance on how I looked.

So what I believe it comes down to is that human beings are extremists.  We have a difficult time sometimes being balanced.  Yes, the Bible talks about true beauty coming from within, but God is also the maker, creator and designer of beauty and has made women beautiful, and men appreciate that.  What man doesn’t want to see his wife beautiful, taking care of herself, and enhancing her natural beauty creatively?  I know that when I do my husband takes note and appreciates it.  He tells me I’m beautiful.  And what woman doesn’t like to hear from her husband that she’s beautiful?

Don’t get me wrong though.  I don’t believe that beauty is just simply appearance.  There can be an extremely attractive woman with bad character, and because of her character, she becomes unattractive/ugly.  My husband once told me that if he sees a beautiful woman smoke, she’s no longer beautiful.  Physical beauty isn’t anything without purity and good character.  But physical beauty becomes the icing on the cake to a woman of purity and good character.

What do you consider to be true beauty?  Please leave a comment and let me know what you think; I’d love to know.

7 thoughts on “B E A U T Y”

  1. stacilys, true beauty isn’t what’s on the outside, our physical appearance. True beauty is what is on the inside, and this is true.
    Physical beauty isn’t anything without purity and good character. But physical beauty becomes the icing on the cake to a woman of purity and good character.
    That’s my opinion.
    Manoel – Brazil

    1. I’m glad you agree Manoel. I believe Brazilian women understand that well too. When I first moved to Brazil I would wear ‘chinelos’ (flip flops) out on the street, to the shopping mall, etc. I soon learned that flip flops are only for inside the house (unless they’re fancy ones or your a man and don’t really care =)
      Blessings and thanks for the comment=)

  2. What a great post! I have to agree completely, especially after spending years thinking my outward beauty was the only way I’d receive the attention I so craved. (And I had that same mentality that your Australian students had. I’d go for weeks before a school dance wearing jeans and a t-shirt and ponytail, just to see if my Cinderella transformation would have any of the boys asking me for a dance. It didn’t work…)

    The book “Wild At Heart” actually helped me come to terms with that innate desire we women have to feel beautiful. After all, we are taught in church that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” but so often are left feeling less than so. In the book, the author talks about how women are created by God to seek adoration from their men, primarily their husband. Even moreso, we are designed in such a way that adoration is almost automatic. Just like you described: soft skin, curves, breasts, soft hair, smaller hands, whatever it may be. I know that my husband can look at me on my worst day and be completely enraptured. I usually think he’s insane. The book, however, has changed the way I look at myself. Dressing nicely isn’t a tactic to lure in men or to flaunt my vanity. It is an outward sign that I respect myself and that I know I am deserving of my husband’s adoration.

    1. “It is an outward sign that I respect myself and that I know I am deserving of my husband’s adoration.”
      –I love this. It’s so totally not a vanity thing. And it’s not even a “I need the assurance of others praises so I can feel good about myself” thing. It’s simply the inside being displayed on the outside. Like when you see a woman that dresses nicely and takes care of herself, but also seems to be secure in who she is as a woman and is healthy in respects to her self-image, she becomes that much more beautiful. And then you may have women that dress all up and all, but there seems to be a sense that inside is not so good. Interesting eh.

      I hadn’t heard of that book, “Wild At Heart”. I’ll have to check it out on Amazon. Interesting – “women were created by God to seek adoration from men”. I had never seen it that way. My eyes have been opened. I had always seen it as how women were made beautiful and all because men are highly visual. Now I see both sides of the coins. Thanks for sharing.

      1. My mom always told me as a little girl to sit up straight. She’d tell a story about a girl in her high school class who wasn’t necessarily a stunner, but she had good posture and had that “inner beauty.” Her own confidence in herself, her carriage, and the way she dressed herself had her the envy of the boys in the school. It stuck with me, that beauty is not the physical appearance, but more the mental appearance: our attitude, our opinion of ourselves, and our self-worth. If those are all in line, we show it and it is beautiful.

        As to “Wild At Heart,” it’s an absolutely awesome read. It’s written for men about them finding their inner God-given manhood, but as a mom of two boys and the wife of a man, I found it to be super enlightening. The author has an entire chapter devoted just to women’s role in manhood, which is where he addresses our desire to be adored. It was eye-opening for me, too, to realize that we are created with the desire to be looked at, and men are created with the desire to look. It gives marriage a whole new outlook. 🙂

  3. Beauty is so many things at so many ages. In my youth, beauty was superficial. As I age, I find beauty in different things. I hear and see a singer with a wonderful voice, and my definition of beauty changes. I see an athlete do something amazing, and my impression of beauty changes. True beauty is personal and individual. Its a myriad of emotions and responses interacting to create a tapestry that is beauty. It cannot be defined, only experienced.


    1. I hear you there Rob. When we are younger we are so focused on the physical beauty of youth, and a bit shallow when it comes to ‘true beauty’.

      When I wrote this I was thinking more along the lines of one taking care of themselves, and allowing the inner beauty to reflect on the outside. I was thinking quite a bit about the girl I mentioned in Australia that would only dress up on special occasions so that people would be like ‘WOW’. Silly way of thinking, I think. I don’t ‘dress up’ all the time, but I know that when I take care of myself, and I feel good about the way I look, it makes all the difference in how I hold myself. I truly do strive for the more valuable inner stuff, but I also think that the way I hold myself and present myself is a reflection of the confidence and security I have in who I am and who I was created to be.

      Thanks for the comment and your thoughts on this Rob.

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