Have you ever felt like your life didn’t make much of a difference? Like you’re not very influential or relevant? Like you’re not being very active in this world? That’s how I’m feeling today. Ok, I’ll confess, I’m already kind of an up and down type of person. I’ve even thought that I could possibly be bi-polar at times in my life. But I really am such a feeler. I’m often driven by my feelings, which makes it difficult for me to see things logically at times. Thank God that he gave me the husband that he did (strong thinker). Anyhow, this is how I’m feeling today. I used to be so active in world missions. I’ve traveled all over the world to reach out and share Truth with people. Since I became a mom things have been a bit different. Oftentimes I long to do something “relevant”. To be used by the all powerful in a way that makes a difference and touches lives. Because ultimately, there is no greater ‘feeling’ than when you are given the opportunity to impact someones life. Albert Einstein had it right all along.
Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. WOW!
But then again, I am living my life for others. I am raising two little people to be responsible, caring, gentle, Truth-loving individuals. I have two little disciples that are in my care. Two little beings that I am totally and completely responsible for. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.
I also have an awesome husband that has an amazing talent in the areas of sociology, teaching and filmmaking. I really want to see him grow and be successful in this area and so I am available to serve in any way that I can – be it translation, social media, administrative stuff, etc. Who ever said that a missionary had to always be out on the front lines. What about all the other necessary stuff that others just don’t see?
I also have my blog, and who knows, maybe someday, sometime, somewhere, someone may be impacted by what I have to say. Or may be impacted by one of my songs. Or maybe even just a simple recipe or fitness routine I post. Who knows?
I just don’t want to be a doer. Trying to search for something to do so that others may see and think I am of relevance and significance. So that others can say, “Hey, look what she’s doing. She’s really reaching out. Amen.” Uh uh. No way. I’ve learned that I am not defined by what I do. I am not defined by what others think of me. I am not even defined by what I think of myself. Nope. I am defined by what my creator thinks of me. And he says that I am precious. I am worthy. I am loved. I am cared for. I am special. I am beautiful. I am even lovely (even with my strong temperament and all.) He sings over me and calms me with his peace and the quietness of his love. It can’t get any better than that.
So, I’m not going to be a Martha, worried about needing to be “busy”. I want to be Mary, sitting at His feet and listening to Him. Allowing His sweet presence to wash over me, bringing tears to my eyes, health to my spirit, peace to my soul and tranquility of being.
What do you consider to be “being relevant”? Please leave a comment and let me know.
stacilys.wordpress.com 
Feelings are like colours: they’re not all of the picture but they certainly are a big part. Kind of makes me think of all the parts in the body; each part has its own special function, and the body doesn’t function properly unless each part does its own thing, the thing it was designed for. Pleasing God and being pleased with Him go hand in hand.
Thanks for the honest report. Refreshing!
Hey Rob, you’re awesome. That’s soooo totally true. Pleasing God and being pleased with Him go hand in hand. If you don’t mind I’d like to tweet that.
Many blessings and thanks for the encouragement.
One by one, little by little… the molehill becomes a mountain. * heart*
Im.impacted by what you say!
Awwwww, what a sweet thing to say. Thank you.
🙂 ❤
Oh My….I struggle with this most days. I have the unique opportunity to be at home and not have to have a “job” but in the almost year since I’ve been home barely a day goes by that I don’t feel like God is disappointed in me cause I am not out “doing” for Him. I have Fibromyalgia which causes me to be extremely fatigued most of the time so I can’t make any committments as I never know if I will be able to even get dressed some days. My gifting is “caring for others” and I miss the self giving accolades and the feelings of being used by God. I, too, am a “feelings” person and have often said I have a bi-polar faith. My head knows that I am loved just as I am, that God knows why I am where I am and He must be OK with it or I would get healed so I could go back out into the world but my “feelings” tell me that I should be doing something more. Something significant.
I love making others happy and find my “purpose” in that but what may be “MY” purpose isn’t necessarily God’s purpose for me, but, oh man, the struggle is hard.
My greatest fear is to die and to hear God say, “Who are you? I never knew you?”
Any words of wisdom for an older woman who should know better than to listen to the enemy’s whisperings?
Ohhhhh Queen Robyn, I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles. I knew someone that had really bad fibromyalgia. I used to give her massages because she would suffer in pain a lot. She didn’t have health insurance, nor money for meds, so it was really difficult for her.
About thinking you’re not doing enough for God, believe me, He isn’t looking at what you can do for Him. He doesn’t need any of us to get His work done. He is all-powerful. He loves you sooooooooo much. You know, when Jesus was dying on the cross, he told the crook next to him that he would be with Him in paradise that day. The crook hadn’t done anything for God. His forgiveness isn’t dependant upon our works. It is by grace you’ve been saved. You can’t ‘do’ anything to gain His approval. He looks at your heart, my friend. He sees how you long to be used by Him and that blesses His heart. He knows your limitations and doesn’t want you to do what you’re not able to.
I hope this helps a bit. Really, I think it’s only God that can heal our hearts, shed light where there’s darkness, and push away the lies of the enemy. I struggled a lot when I was a new Christian. I had a lot of garbage from my past that needed healing. It took time though. A number of years actually. I was a wreck. But God pulled me through. You’ve just got to keep pressing on. Go to Him daily in prayer and in His word. He will open the eyes of your heart and speak words of life.
Many blessings to you.
🙂 ❤
Staci, thank you for such a beautiful reply! So much in our past clouds how we view God and his unconditional love. I love listening to Joseph Prince and his ministry of Grace but even then I think, “No, that can’t be right on…we must have to do such and such to prove our worthiness to God”. But what a stupid thing to think…as if anything I can do can EVER be worthy of God. Why do some of us have such a hard time accepting that “just” the sacifice of Jesus on the cross is enough to bring us to God? Is it because I grew up in the Catholic church (school and all) and it was so based on everything BUT Jesus blood sacrifice? Man, at 60 years old you would have thought I would have this all sorted out!
Anyway, I am thrilled to be following your blog!
“Man, at 60 years old you would have thought I would have this all sorted out!”
–I hear you, loud and clear. Because of my lifestyle and being a missionary with Youth With a Mission and all, I have seen some pretty amazing things. I have also seen God provide wonderfully for me and for my family. You would think I would have a faith that could literally move mountains. Nope. Just one little small thing can cause that mountain to become a huge valley. More so even. A huge crevice in the Earth. Don’t feel bad about it, my friend. I think we all go through these ups and downs with our faith. Doubts and unbeliefs and so on.
About the whole Catholic thing, I think you have a point there. I live in Brazil, and Brazil’s history is steeped in Catholicism, that even in the evangelical church there seems to be roots of it. The whole works thing, especially the whole ‘the pastor is the big cheese’ and the church is the be-all and end-all of spirituality.
I’m pleased to meet you too Robyn, and looking forward to future conversations.
Bless you.
🙂 ❤
I’ve often struggled to be relevant in the world and for the longest time, I misinterpreted what it meant to be relevant. By me thinking that my goal in life was to obtain a job that others would see as respectable, even if it went against what I truly loved and who I was, eventually led me to failure and depression. I am glad that I now realize that to be relevant is to do what you feel led to do, what has real meaning. Others may see it as not important or needed, but I believe that whatever one wants to do or become in this world is important and meaningful to someone. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Ohhhhh yes, the issue of relevancy. I have struggled a lot in the past with this. Especially when I got pregnant with my first child. I had been traveling all over the world and all. Then I started thinking that my life was over. That all I was going to be was a mother and a wife. As if that’s not important. Of course, the western world laughs at that. It says you’ve got to have it all. The good job. The happy family. And everything else that society screams at us women to do. And along with that, the stress of having too much on your plate. My oldest is now 8 years old and I have had to pull him from school and homeschool him. Brazil isn’t the greatest place for him (especially as bilingual) to be in school as an Aspie (Asperger’s Sydrome). At any rate, I have learned sooooo much. I know that to be relevant, I simple must be doing what God has called me to do, at any place or time in my life. Because ultimately, He doesn’t really need me for anything. He gives me the opportunity to partner with him in making a difference in whatever He’s called me to do. I was just reading something by Francis Schaeffer the other day, “Only one thing is important: to be consecrated persons in God’s place for us, at each moment.” Interestingly enough, it’s from his book, “No Little People”. And that’s exactly it. There are no little people.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me Crystal. You’re not alone in how you’ve felt.
Have a great week.
j:-) ❤