2014 Goal: To lose myself


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At the start of each new year the human race sets out to make goals. Many make resolutions to lose weight, to stop smoking, to read more, to workout, yada yada yada.  I don’t despise this attitude, but as we all know, the majority of people fail at these endeavors.  Sorry to be a kill-joy.  That’s not my intention.  Because I too have a goal for 2014.  I want to lose myself.

So what does that mean?  Most people want to find themselves Staci.  People run to the ends of the highways and travel across the world looking for meaning.  Wanting to ‘find’ themselves.  Wanting purpose.  Trying to find something to fill that empty void inside them and get answers to their questions.

What are their questions?

  • Why am I here?
  • What’s my purpose here on Earth? In this life?
  • Where am I going when I die?
  • What is truth?

We all have our world views, and some are in search of theirs. I, however, have found mine. The glasses in which I see the world are firmly fixed on my face. I have found myself. Now I want to lose myself.  Or should I say, “continue losing myself”, since I have been continuously doing so since the day I first found myself on January 7, 1994.

Ok, back to, “what does that mean”?  You see, as I become more and more empty of myself, space is made for my maker to fill me with that which is good.  Many people think that humans are essentially good, but my experience has been the exact opposite.  I mean, come on, look at the news.  Have you seen the headlines?  Have you noticed what people all over the world are doing?  Even the purest of the best of the most noblest of people are not all that they seem.

I want to be a jar of clay, simply housing an amazing treasure.  And that treasure is not of me.  I’m just the jar.  I know that I am weak.  I am poor.  I am broken.  I am needy.  I can’t live this earthly life on my own.  I also know that the world despises these ‘states of being’, but to me they are like diamonds and precious stones.  You see I have learned that when I am weak, I am strong.  when I am poor, I am rich.  When I am needy, I am filled.  Filled with an inexpressible love, joy, peace, and a calmness of mind, soul and spirit.

So this is my ultimate goal – To lose myself.  And when you know that you don’t have any sufficiency of your own, you don’t need to live up to anyone’s expectations or prove yourself to anybody.  The only thing needed is to simply abide in the source of all meaning and life.  And as I do that, I will lose myself, because “His abundance and my emptiness are a perfect match” (Sarah Young-Jesus Calling). What are your goals for 2014?

Do you despise ‘losing yourself’? Do you despise having to be interdependent and needy? What are your thoughts?

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18 thoughts on “2014 Goal: To lose myself

    • I hear you there. And the more we lose ourself, the less stress we have, the more peace, the less worry and anxiety, the more dependence. Blessings David. =)

  1. what a challenging prayer ! i know i need to pray the same prayer.. yet it sounds so scary, to lose oneself and everything familiar… you are right though. losing one’s self to christ actually brings great freedom. i hope that i can really value and cherish this.

    btw, one of my friends is also a former YWAMer. =)

    • Hey there. Thanks for stopping by and liking/commenting. I really like the title of your blog, ‘searching for substance’. Really and awesome name. Yes, I truly do believe there is great freedom in losing one’s self to Christ. So many people think that (at least I used to) it’s boring to be a Christ follower. That there are so many restrictions and that it’s just a bunch of rules. They are soooooo wrong. I know it’s hard to understand, but man, when you’ve tasted and see how good it is, there’s nothing better. Wouldn’t you agree? It is, however, sooooo difficult to get to that place of complete dependence and trust. Letting go of control is not something that we human’s like to do. =) Many blessings.
      Staci
      p.s. great to know about your YWAMer friend. Do you know where they worked with YWAM?

  2. Wonderful post and sentiments. I too look to lose myself in the Creator and be a vessel. I am the faucet and He is the water. Losing my *self* as self as destructive is my ultimate goal. Crushing ego and my selfish will is a tough task. turning my will and my life over to Him has been a freeing experience for me, and it’s something that I have to keep in mind whenever I try to run the show. His will, not mine, be done. And then I am in a good place 🙂

    Blessings,
    Paul

    • Hi Paul. Thanks for comment and sharing your thoughts and goal. And an awesome goal it is. It can be really tough to yield to His will; believe me, I know. But what a relief after we do eh. The difficult thing, at times, is when we think that we’ve reached a place where we have yielded our self and will over to Him entirely, He calls us to go that one step further. Uh oh, time to come down from the mountain top for bit. Time to step out of our comfort zone. Time to be further refined in His fire. The awesome thing is that after the refining, comes the end result – GOLD. Many blessings Paul =)

  3. The worlds way is to find yourself and to keep to the image that you believe to be yourself. God says to give up what we have come to know as self and to live a selfless life. Not a very easy thing to do for us stubborn humans but something that we all would do well to attempt to our fullest.

    • That’s right. All people want to be defined by something. And even have a certain air of pride about who they believe themselves to be, unfortunately. I tried to allow myself to be defined by my talents, abilities, etc in the past. It didn’t lead to anything but selfish ambition and striving, and of course, a complete lack of peace and tranquility of mind and of spirit. It’s definitely not an easy thing for us ‘stubborn humans’. The awesome thing is that God has a way of bringing us to that place of surrender. Thank you God. Many blessings. =)

  4. Perfect New Year’s Resolution – do you mind if I use it, too 🙂 I am so glad that you found my blog, because I can tell that I am really going to enjoy reading your blog. And I love the title of your blog!

    • Hi Heather. Of course you can use the resolution. I’m sure God would be soooo happy if all people did. I’m really glad too that I found your blog. And thanks for the compliments. Blessings =) –Staci

  5. “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.”

    I thoroughly appreciate your passion and clarity in the Lord, S.

    • Thanks Diana. Wish it were so easy to have passion and clarity everyday. Mountain top experiences and a good night’s sleep make things a lot easier. It’s when our faith is tested that the going gets tough (or when you’re going through an insomnia bout-my unfortunate reality right now).
      Blessings =)

    • Definitely. And thank you so much for the kind words. People are such funny creatures, don’t you think? There’s an expression in Portuguese, “olhando para seu proprio umbigo”, it mean, looking at your own belly button. I would say that it’s similar to when we say in English, “thinking that the universe revolves around you.” hehehe. I guess when we’re full of ourselves we think that the universe revolves around us.
      Blessings =)

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