When I sing into the night
A wordless song from deep within
My unbelieving heart
Is filled with doubt and sour fear
Don’t know what I believe
Seems all faith is gone
Lord, would you help me please
See with clear lenses, sing a new song
Do you ever feel like giving up? Like what you’re doing isn’t making a difference? Or that what you are trying to achieve will never come about? Like it’s just some sort of pipe dream? I do.
The above is part of a song I just started to write. I wrote it in tears. It’s more of a prayer, than a song. Kind of like a Psalm, like the many one can read in the Bible. The Psalms is a wonderful and poetic book because it’s a collection of poems and songs written from the heart. Written by real people, with real problems, and filled with emotion. Some are out of sheer joy, but many are out of deep desperation.
I want to be like the Psalmists. I want to be real with God about how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. I believe he would have it no other way. I would be lying if I said my life was easy and always rosy. As if I never had any problems and my faith was constantly firm. I don’t want to be putting on a mask or be someone I’m not. I want to be real.
My husband is a filmmaker, and a risky one at that. He is a Christian and produces films that speak into the real issues of societies and realities. Films that give a voice to those that don’t have a voice, so to speak. The most recent film, “Internal Mazes” was made to combat the issue of human sex trafficking and the worth of all individuals, including prostitutes. Every person involved received their pay, except him. We have received investments from others in order to produce it, even our house is in the hands of investors until we are able to pay them back. That was a giant leap of faith.
I loved the quote by Dale Carnegie that I read over at “Soul Gatherings” today.
- “Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”
How about you? Have you ever strived for something you really believed in and lost hope? Have you had dark days where it seemed like a hopeless cause? How do you deal with it?