Do you think a woman has to have a successful career, be a mother and have a prominent place in society in order to be fulfilled? I don’t
I love being a woman. I used to think it was a bit of a curse. I guess the culture I grew up in contributed to that train of thought. I used to resent the Biblical view of femininity. I used to think that there was great inequality. There was a time in my life though, when I was living in India, that my whole mind-set changed. It was as if God was freeing me from wrong ways of thinking. He never wanted, nor intended for women to be inferior. He has made men as they are and women as they are. Men have certain desires and women have certain desires. We’ve been wired differently, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve embraced my womanhood; my femininity. I’m not trying to prove anything to society, nor am I trying to ‘have it all’. I’m simply accepting the calling I’ve received in life, and enjoying the life that I’ve been given, as a woman, with womanly desires. And you know what? I’ve never been happier.
How about you? If you’re a woman, do you feel like you need to prove something to the world or society by ‘having it all’? Do you enjoy being a woman? Do you feel as if women are inferior to men?
And you men. What are your thoughts on the subject? What do you consider to be a mark of beauty in a woman?
stacilys.wordpress.com 
Staci – there are no words for you – Superb!
Ohhhh, thank you so much Mihrank. I’m humbled by your comment.
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Beautiful post! As a man, I consider that women have not invented wars, because they know what’s the price of life, as mother, daughter or sister… war was invented (and made) my men…it’s the reason why I’m very “feminist”, I mean I consider we should have more women in politics. Of course, women are like men, in this world, they are imperfect… but really, I think that they are, much more than men, aware of what Life means! So, as we would say in French, “vive les femmes” ! 🙂 ♥
Hi Frederic. Thank you so much for your appreciation and comments on this. Interesting how you pointed out the issue of war and violence. I think that men and women, although are part of the same race; the human race, are very different indeed. You know how it says in the Bible that we are made in God’s image? It makes me think about how God made men with certain desires, abilities, strengths and weaknesses, and the same goes for women. I found an interesting infographic that I pinned to my pinterest account: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/480477853969477839/ Check it out if you like.
Men are definitely much stronger thinkers, where women are much stronger feelers.
THank you also for sharing more french with me. French (from France) sounds beautiful.
Love and blessings to you, my friend
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I’ve checked it out, it’s funny, interesting and in many ways, true! But I think we could nuance or shade, it’s true men and women are different – but some women have “male” qualities and some men have “female” qualities. Maybe it depends more on our “soul” than on our “gender”. It’s an interesting question, do souls have a sex… oh! maybe it’s like questioning about the sex of angels (in French we have an expresion about that, it means to talk about very difficult questions… So, I must humbly say that I don’t know… Anyway, men or women, we’ll all be judged and we’d better to think twice about what we’re doing on Earth… take care, and, as always, thank you for your thoughtful posts!
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Yes, very interesting infographic eh. Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to generalize at all, nor stereotype. We are all unique and individual, with our own personalities and characteristics. I’m just saying that we are wired differently. Culture definitely has a huge role in shaping who we become. Like there’s this one culture in China which is matriarchal.
But I totally agree, we all will be judged. And we would be wise to definitely think twice about what we’re doing on Earth.
Ohhhhh, I hope you don’t feel like I was trying to offend or push my opinions or anything. It wasn’t my attention at all.
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Oh no, of course!!! I agree with you, we’re wired differently, and gender is just a part of our personality. What is so interesting and great with your blog is that your readers to think, you ask them questions, and take time to thoughfullty answer… yes, because you are a first class (woman) and blogger 😉 thank you my friend! xxoo
Ohhhhh, you bless me Frederic. What a nice compliment. Thank you so much. You are a dear soul.
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Staci…..one request can you please visit my about section…you will find my response…loved reading this piece as straight from heart
Ohhhh great. I will definitely hop on over there now.
Thank you so much for your kind words and for appreciating this piece.
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There is this essence in being a woman that nothing can encompass. I love being a woman and I don’t consider myself or any other lady, inferior to men, in fact, i think that in some cases women can be more responsible and sincere than men, of course there are exceptions. The one thing i sometimes dread as a woman is freedom…we have to compromise as in, where we go, at what time we are out of the house and specially because parents worry more about their daughters which is legit…things are changing slowly and gradually but there still are some restrictions. Despite all of it, i rather enjoy being a woman! ❤
That was a beautiful poem! And i love the questions you put up with them, makes my mostly dormant brain race! 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing and for your kind words.
Yes, it’s true about how we aren’t as free when it comes to being out late, and where we go. I don’t really mind that. But then again, I have young children so I’m not out very late all that much.
I’m so glad that you also enjoy being a woman.
You are so funny, “makes my mostly dormant brain race” – I’m not so sure your brain is as dormant as you think. You’re poetry makes me think that it’s quiet active and alive.
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Beauty is often judged by externals, and this at times hides an ugly, rotten inside. Motives and intentions mean more to me than the externals, some beauty is the result of hard work which begs the question “Why did they work so hard to comply with fashion???” Some of the answers to that question ain’t exactly bad, yet some answers are horrible. Are you striving to “look good” so that you will get a good looking mate? Are you striving to “look good” to trick others into thinking you are good? Are you striving to “look good” because that is what is expected? ect. To me a beatiful women is one who shows the love that God gives to everyone, her beauty cannot be hidden, it shines in her smile, and shows in her actions.
“To me a beautiful women is one who shows the love that God gives to everyone, her beauty cannot be hidden, it shines in her smile, and shows in her actions.”
–Beautiful. Thank you for sharing this. I think so too. I also think that a woman that is secure in who she is as a woman will take good care of herself. It’s kind of like a holistic thing. Not just the spirit or body or mind, but the whole package. Maybe you’d be interested to read the first post I ever wrote when I started this blog: https://stacilys.wordpress.com/2013/09/13/b-e-a-u-t-y/
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Wonderful post. I notice as I get older (and hopefully wiser) I see beauty much differently. It is easy to be beautful when you have youth. But that beauty fades. I love to see the quiet confidence of a 50 year-old women, or the strength of a woman dealing with life’s bad situation. A mother loving on her children or the elegant grace of an older lady. Seeing a woman use her God-given talents to help others. That is beauty, and it never dims.
Hi Mark. Thank you so much for this beautiful comment. I like how you noted that as you’ve grown and matured, you see beauty much differently. It’s so true that beauty fades. Youth and physical beauty are so fleeting.
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Staci, I appreciate your thoughts on womanhood, as this is something, as a Christian, I have been struggling with lately. I’m curious as to what exactly changed your mind-set, as I confess that when I read the Bible (honestly & without rose-colored glasses), I don’t see a whole of lot evidence that women are equal to men in the eyes of God.
And this has really begun to bother me and hinder me in my relationship with God. I enjoy being a woman, I don’t consider myself a “feminist,” at least according to a worldly definition, nor do I think I need to “prove” myself in any way, but I don’t know how to truly trust or have intimacy with a God that seems to denigrate my worth in many passages in the Bible, at least in relation to men. I don’t often vocalize these doubts to others, so as not to rock the boat, but I’m really, really struggling internally with this issue.
Hi April. So nice to see you here. I didn’t know if I would hear from you again because of your last blog post about not writing on your blog anymore. At any rate, I’m happy you’re here and for your sincere comment.
I have been there, my friend. I know what you mean. I used to read different verses and think, ‘what’s up with that?’ It seemed to me that it didn’t add up with what I knew of God’s character and my own personal experiences with Him. One of the things I’ve learned over time, thanks to my husband and other classes I’ve taken, is that the Bible was written according to a specific culture and during different times in history. Now for me, I was raised in a culture that preached feministic values and belittled the so-called ‘Biblical’ picture of women and what it meant to be a woman. My mindset used to be that I couldn’t just be a mother and a wife. I had to be ‘something’ in society that gave me a specific identity. Women now-a-day are so stressed and getting so unhealthy because they are trying to ‘have it all’. Now I’m not saying that it is wrong for a woman to work outside of the home. Not at all. That would be just crazy. But I do believe that there are so many women that wish they could spend more time with their kids and invest in their lives. They wish they had more time to take care of themselves. They wish they had more time to rest. They wish they had more ‘quality’ of life. I don’t work outside the home because that’s my choice and because of what I feel I’m called to do. I am still a missionary with YWAM, but my family takes priority over how much I ‘work’. Jesus never came here to start a religion or give us a set of rules to follow. He came to bring values and principles. And out of my own experiences with God, like when I was in India, He revealed to me how just in ‘being a woman’ that in and of itself is a ministry. A friend of mine told me about a church in the US called Mars Hill and that there were some good podcasts from them. I decided to go for a walk every morning and decided to download some of these messages on womanhood from Proverbs. It totally revolutionized my mind-set on what it meant to be a woman, mother, wife, etc. It was a very personal and intimate time with God, and I didn’t in any way at all feel belittled, nor that it was a curse to be a woman. I just simply felt like God made men as men, with their strengths and abilities and there are certain values that men have. The same goes for women. Men are strong thinkers, and women are strong feelers. Men have a need to work and provide, woman have a need to nurture and care. Men don’t pay much attention to detail, women pay much attention to detail. We are wired differently and there’s nothing wrong with that.
April, I really feel for you, my friend. I wish I could take my personal experiences and breathe them into your spirit so that you can taste what I’ve tasted concerning this. Please know that you are so precious to God and so valuable. That He doesn’t, in any way or form, see you as inferior in the least. I will be praying for you. I’m so glad you shared this with me. I don’t feel like any boat has been rocked here at all, and I really, but REALLY don’t judge you at all.
If you ever want to talk or write deeper, please feel free to email me ok. No problem at all. I’m here for you.
Love and blessings.
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Staci, thanks so much for your thoughtful and encouraging response. It’s funny….I grew up in a completely different environment: a legalistic Christian home with chauvinistic brothers and a domineering father. I was constantly told growing up that women were only good for cooking, cleaning & having babies and that this viewpoint was “Scriptural.” I always bucked against this and have struggled nearly my whole life with understanding my true worth as a woman. Anyway, I’d love to discuss this further, but don’t know how to contact you?
Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry to hear that April. Let me just tell you off hand that your brothers and father were wrong. What we hear and experience when we’re younger shapes our mind set and really affects us, whether it be positively or negatively. You are worth soooooo much more. At any rate, my email is stacilys1@gmail.com. Email any time ok.
Abraços e Deus te abençõe
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Beautiful answer to this common question among Christian women (Mars Hill are great by the way. I love their pod casts also.)
Oh yes, I have listened to many of their podcasts since I first started listening to them in 2008. Thank you so much Claire.
I don’t think we have to have it all to be a woman, but I want “it all” and think I can have it–just not all at once. Maybe? In each season of our life we are given gifts to explore fully. I miss my career, but this season of new motherhood.
Hi Keri
I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened here. I always respond to comments, and I remember responding to this one. I think WordPress sometimes goes bonkers. I just happened to notice this now.
I like how you say, “just not all at once” and absolutely love this: “In each season of our life we are given gifts to explore fully.” I totally agree. Man, I love this comment. Really. Because it’s not about some heavy sacrifice that we make or that we can’t live our life happy doing what is a passion for us. It’s so not like that. I’m certified in fitness and nutrition and work with YWAM. Have been all over the world, dancing and performing and have given physical conditioning classes. And now I’m a mom, and loving it. I wouldn’t change that for the world. And being a mom, more at home, not traveling so much, I have been able to explore and grow creatively with my writing. I wouldn’t have had that chance if I was still globetrotting and into different things. So yea, we are meant to ‘fully explore’ the gifts that we’re given.
Thanks a ton Keri. I’ve been super enriched by what you shared.
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I love being a woman and hope to instill this same love into my daughter. What’s more, may I teach my son to love and respect women as his equals as well! 🙂
Oh my gosh. I can’t believe I missed this. I respond to all comments and don’t understand what happened here. Anyhow, I’m so glad your love being a woman too. There’s nothing better then being comfortable in who you are.
My daughter is super girly and I love it. She wants to do what I do. It’s wonderful. And I totally agree with your about teaching your son respect. Me too.
Thanks for your comment Sasha.
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A wonderful post and a wonderful discussion.
Ohhhh, thank you so much Kate. Your comments always make me feel good and appreciated.
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My work here is done! lol!
Hehehe
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My uncharacteristic recent sarcasm on this matter aside, I who’d resisted all things feminine came to embrace them like you when I became a Christian. God didn’t just make us people. He made us male and female! What did He want of me as His daughter – things He did not seek in sons? How had he made me? I hope you got my response on the movie link you left me. It came on a hard week but I got to it.
Hi Diana
Yea, I had a really tough time with the whole female/God issue in the past. I used to be really bitter about it actually. That is, until God really renewed my mind about it all. It’s amazing how culture and upbringing can really shape a wrong and twisted mind-set about such things.
Anyhow, about getting your response, are you talking about what you wrote in the comment section of my post, “A Human Being”? If so, yes I did get it, and I sent quite a lengthy reply to it. Did you see it?
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It’s amazing how God can renew anything! I didn’t get it. Will have to go look.
You’d asked me to review a clip of a film on the prostitute. Feel free to send if that’s what you meant. I commented on it while recovering from the flu. Can’t find it.
PS I hope I didn’t make you feel bad! I mentioned the flu only to explain why it took me a while to respond.
The flu… ugh. I hope you’re feeling much better. It must of come on strong because of ‘beginning of school year’ stress eh. Anyhow, when I sent you the clip of the trailer, it was just for you to see what the film is about. I’m thinking that that’s what you watched, right? I was actually inviting you to watch the movie, if you’d like. I would have to send you the link for that, being that it’s not a free-for-all. We’ve included the link in our letter that we’re sending out to different ‘english-speaking’ people.
We have a lot of feedback from Brazilians, but not so much from English-speakers, being that the film is in in Portuguese and with English subtitles.
You don’t have to accept the invitation if you don’t want. I just thought maybe your opinion would be honest and one I would be humbled to have. I know that you, like me, are very busy so I understand if it’s not doable.
If you want to see my original response to you, you can do so here:
https://stacilys.wordpress.com/2014/04/25/a-human-being-haiku/
Thanks a ton Diana an no worries ok.
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I think true beauty comes from what we cannot see. The invisible parts of life are sometimes the most important aspects of it. Great post. I love the “counter culture” part.
Ohhhh, thanks Benjamin. I’m sooooo into ‘counter culture’. Have you by any chance ever read Kenneth’s blog, ‘The Culture Monk’ ? I love it. He questions everything in western culture. Especially fundamentalism.
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well said! and lovely
Thank you so much Mimi. I’m glad you liked it.
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Man is nothing without a woman and I truly believe that, and the reverse is also true. Man and woman cannot survive without each other. They are equals and opposites, a bit like Yin and Yang. Although it doesn’t seem like it at times, there is no inferior gender. Woman was created to do the things that men can’t! 🙂
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done.