Art, poetry

Butterfly Tears

Mixed media and poem

Butterflies often symbolize transformation, and rightly so. I mean, they start out as a creepy crawly caterpillar, bound to the ground. Then they hide away for a bit in seclusion, all alone. Once their cocoon breaks open, they are set free. They’re given a new colourful body and wings to fly.

I like to compare this process of metamorphosis in the natural world to my own life experience. I see myself as this sad, dark and empty girl in the artwork above. Not me today, but years ago when I was young and immature. Years ago when I was asking what the heck I was doing here on Earth. When I was living an empty, meaningless life, without direction or purpose.

When I came to my senses and decided to leave that life behind, my transformation started. It didn’t happen overnight though. I spun a good thick cocoon because it took time. A long time. I am thankful that God has pulled me through. I owe it all to Him, because I know that I couldn’t do it alone. Nobody can.

I would love to know if you can relate to this at all. Please share your own experience.


The above painting was done on recycled material. An empty cereal box actually.

87 thoughts on “Butterfly Tears”

  1. This is so lovely, Staci! Sadness and sorrow is felt through the words and art, but there is hope in butterflies and everything glows in a warm yellow and orange, as to say bright, sunny days are coming! LOVED IT! 🙂

    1. Thank you so much Sibella. The art is totally different than what I usually do, don’t you think? I’m not any Rembrandt or Monet, but I kind of like the idea of this piece. My hubby thought it was so depressing. But heck, that’s reality for so many, right?
      🙂 ❤

      1. It is very different, but it conveys both, sadness and hope. I absolutely love the colors and the feel of it! 🙂

        Art is not meant to only portray happy side of life, but also the other less pleasant side…

      2. Exactly. Art is expression right. Life isn’t always peaches and cream. Thank you sooooo soooooo soooooo much Sibella. You rock!
        🙂 ❤

      3. Yes, art is expression! It can be as bright as the sun and as dark as the deepest pit and everything in between!
        It’s important to express all what’s inside and no life is always pink roses and unicorns! 🙂

      4. Oh yes. Exactly. You know Sibella, for some reason I’m not getting your comments in my notifications. I only see them when I go right into my blog.

  2. Beautiful Staci! God is a master at transformation and restoration. He always makes us better than before. Excellent post, and lovely work.

    1. Thank you so much Wendy. And yes, He is the only master at true transformation eh. I could have never become who I am today without His transforming power.
      I’m so glad you like this. The image is really quite different then what I’m used to doing, wouldn’t you say? My husband looked at it and said it was somewhat depressing. Hahaha. But that’s reality right. So many people live in this reality unfortunately.
      Hope you’re having a wonderful day. Isn’t today Zumba day?
      🙂 ❤

    1. Ohhhh, thanks so much David. I really could write a book on this topic actually, so it was difficult for me to just write something short to go with the piece. You’ve seen some of my healing first hand too, haven’t you? I’m so glad and thankful that He has pulled me through those dark days and brought true, lasting transformation and freedom.
      I’m so glad you ‘love’ this. Daniel thought it was depressing, but I explained to him that there was a real and raw message to go with it, and positivity as well.
      Hope you and the gang are well.
      And yes, He is the only One that can truly transform and set us free.
      Blessings 🙂

    1. Thank you so much Teresa. I’m glad you like this. Somewhat different than what I normally do, but thought I’d try something raw and real for so many.
      Hugs to you
      🙂 ❤

  3. WoW…. this may be perhaps ur best art work, and to the fact that it is done on recycled stuff, hails kudos……it depicts agony and apathy but still have braw strength ….amazing work.
    And I like this analogy, lovely write up. Its great u came up with such positive transformation to do what u desire and spread love..keep going Stacy 🙂

    1. Heyyyyyy Saaransh. I was just thinking of you yesterday. I haven’t seen you in a while. I even checked out your blog a few days back and nothing new. You must be busy eh. That’s life 🙂
      Ohhhhhh, I’m so humbled by your comment. I feel honoured actually. Thank you so much for such rich and kind words of appreciation. Really. I’m blown away.
      @ recycled stuff, most of the work I do, I do on recycled products. Like cereal boxes, pizza boxes, any sort of box type of thing. I also use watercolour paper and heavier paper sometimes too. But you know, the boxes are great for most of the stuff I do. Hahaha.
      Hope you’re doing well, my friend.

      1. Hii Staci… busy ahh, ya m more than stuck up in some unavoidable stuff ………… and whoaaa recycled stuff, that combines ur art with craft… kudos :D, hopefully I wud try it too, soon……keep it up, I really appreciate ur doings 🙂

      2. Thanks so much Saaransh. Yea, that would be awesome to see your recycled art work too. I know it would be awesome. I hope your ‘unavoidable stuff’ eases up for you soon.
        Have a great week, my friend.

  4. The empty girl in the picture is haunting. Gaunt and void of life. You did a wonderful job at visually depicting her . I know that because I was her too at one time. I’m so grateful for the transformation God has done in my life. Today I’m vibrantly alive because He gave me butterfly wings to fly. Beautiful Staci xoxo

    1. Kirsten, me too. I am soooooo grateful for a life. The life that He gave me. A life with meaning and purpose and fulfillment. He’s in the business of transforming, and He does it so wonderfully.
      I was so empty before. Longing for fulfillment and satisfaction in things that can’t supply it. It took a good while until I realized I could fly, and until I was secure in His love and acceptance, but it was so worth going through the growing pains that brought me to where I am today. I know it’s the same for you.
      Thank you so much for your appreciation and kind words.
      Bless ya 🙂

  5. I love the message here. Great opening lines. The power of time! And great artwork. You never know what you can make art on. Have a great day!

    1. Thank you so much Benjamin. I’m glad you like this. Yes, I’m finding some interesting things to make art with, that’s for sure. I’ve used tin foil recently, and just today I used coffee and green tea leaves. Hahaha. Let’s see what I come up with for that one eh.
      Hope you’re doing well.

      1. Yeah. I can’t wait to see what you’ll come up with next. Sounds very interesting! Have a great weekend!

  6. Very truthful words and message. I like the example of the butterfly–I have often compared life to a butterfly–there is certain to be a time (or times) when life does not seem to be worth it, but if we can get through those times, we are bound to reach abundance, much like the butterfly. I can relate to how you feel–I feel like I’m still in that cocoon stage right now, but I believe I will soon get my wings 🙂

    1. Crystal, today is one of those days where I feel like I’ve spun another cocoon and hidden away. It seems like we take two steps forward and one step back at times, doesn’t it. I know that there has been some amazing transformation in my life, but I think as long as I’m in this body it will never be complete. I guess butterflies have to whether storms too though, so maybe the transformation is complete, but the storms of life like to try and clip those wings every so often. Hahaha. I’m glad that you are sensing that you will soon be coming out of the cocoon. Freedom is so wonderful.
      Have a great weekend.

      1. Thank you Staci for this reply and I like what you said that even after the transformation, there are still challenges that butterflies–all of us, will face. I hope you are enjoying your weekend so far 🙂

      2. Heyyyyy Crystal. I did have a nice weekend. Actually, I had a great week. I was traveling and only arrived home Saturday night. Our YWAM base is full of people right now for a big workshop that’s happening here. Sooooo, things have been busy, and will be throughout the week.
        And yes, I think that so longing we’re living in these bodies, there will be many times where trials and challenges happen.
        Have a great week.
        🙂 ❤

  7. Wow, Staci! My first thought, when I saw the woman, was how lost she is. Very dark and, as someone else said, haunting. I love your poem and your post. We can change, transform and have a life beyond our widest dreams. Hard work but worth it! I always get so much out of your poetry and artwork, much food for thought. Thank you.

    1. Thank you so much Geralyn for such an encouraging comment. I am so glad you like my poetry and artwork. Even when it’s a bit ‘darker’ or ‘haunting’. But then again, life is full of dark moments, right? The good thing is that darkness can never shut out light. Light always wins.
      I hope you have an amazing time in South Africa, and I’m sure you’ll have some amazing stories and pictures to share with us when you get back.
      🙂 ❤

  8. You already know Staci, I relate so much with your words and the artwork as always is outstanding. It is so thoughtful of you to metaphorize yourself with that of the transformation of the butterflies. It holds so true to lot of us. I love your imagination and creativity !

    I’ve not yet completely transformed, I’m still on my way to shedding all the cocoon off…I’m hoping one day I will get there 🙂

    I’ve so much love and respect for you Staci,
    Zee ❤

    1. Oh Zee, you always say the nicest things. Thank you so much. I am truly grateful for your friendship and for your appreciation of my work. And yes, the symbolism of the butterfly and how the process of metamorphosis rings true for sooooooo many people.
      I have a feeling that the transformation is never fully complete. It’s like taking two steps forward, and one step back sometimes. Hahaha.
      I have much love for you too sweetie.
      Hugs and blessings.
      🙂 3

      1. You are most welcome Staci, you know how much I like your work so it’s a pleasure ❤ ❤

        You are so right, the transformation is never fully complete, mainly because we have so many layers as humans, we change, eb and flow ! 🙂

  9. Hi Staci, again your post didn’t show up in my reader. 😦 Your post reminds me of my sister in so many ways. She was bound to this earth, and like a butterfly, was released to Heaven after her illness. The final words in the song I wrote for her was “When I look up to the sky, clouds are billowing butterflies, it’s how I know you’re smiling down on me”. So, for me, the metamorphosis for my sister was bittersweet, that only a reunion in the future will fix. Great post, Staci!!!

    1. Hi Rob, gotta love these WordPress glicks. I also didn’t get your comment in my notifications. I don’t get a lot of comments in my notifications for some reason. Hmmmm.
      Thank you for sharing your story about your sister. It truly is bittersweet, and sad. Even after years of her being gone, I’m sure that there’s still that squeeze in your heart that hurts.
      Thank you also for appreciating this Rob. I’m so glad you liked it.
      Hope you had a great weekend. I’m off to Rio de Janeiro tomorrow for an arts conference. Won’t be back until Sunday. Until them, hope you have a wonderful week.

  10. Metamorphosis. Transformation. Butterfly……. Amazing. When I first read your beautiful poem, I felt like you have written it for me. That’s how much I can relate to all this.
    You are right, when we start our growth, without a purpose without a plan and when we start to think and then as a result change our life in accordance with some powerful purpose. That’s our metamorphosis. I had a life too that I left. Started a new one. It was hard for me too like it was for you. And you are right, without His help, we could have ended up nowhere !
    Thanks for sharing such a beautiful poem and your wonderful thoughts.

    1. Oh Wow! Really? It spoke to you quite personally then Lala. I’m so glad you are able to relate to this. Not that I hope for you to be suffering in your soul, but that good came out of it in the end.
      “without His help, we could have ended up nowhere”
      –I can’t even imagine what my life would be like today without Him. He is my centre. He is my all in all. He is the reason for my very breath and is closer to me than breath itself. If I had kept going down the road I was living, void of a deep and personal relationship with the Almighty, I don’t know what I’d be like today, or if I’d even still be alive.
      Thank you so much for appreciating my work Lala, and for sharing your own person experience as well. I truly appreciate you and am so glad we’ve met (virtually 🙂 )
      I hope you have an amazing last week with your family and in your homeland. As for me, I’m off to Rio de Janeiro for an arts conference until Sunday. Looking forward to that.
      Tons of love and hugs Lala.
      🙂 ❤

  11. Hi Staci, such a lovely post. Yes, butterflies mean transformation, new life. Glad you have left the cocoon and is free now. Your picture is so perfect, only looking at it I can feel the sufering of this little girl. Have a great weekend!

    1. Thank you so much Elizabeth. I’m so pleased you liked this. I had a great, and busy weekend. And now I’m off to Rio de Janeiro tomorrow for an arts conference. Hope you have a great week.

  12. beautiful Staci, the art work is as powerful as your words ❤ I think the title is perfectly chosen, I think as humans we all go through transformations ( big or small) at some points in our lives and you have captured it beautifully my friend

  13. Butterflies are just not about beautiful creatures they symbolizes the life itself, their process transformation through metamorphosis is a metaphor we keep reflecting and relating the way our life’s journey moves and goes about. There is no gain without pain. There is smoothness with the roughness of life.
    The cocoon is what confines them but when they break free, they define the a new life for them, the freedom is reflected their wings to fly, the colour they display reflects the colorful life if we know how to live of our life.
    Metamorphosis is what we keep apply to organizations not just organism, we usually take theme of butterfly to transform an organization when struggling to grow and trying find its feet on the ground and get a grip to start well and finish well.
    The best part is the way you have related to yourself and this so true in each of our life, we keep facing the challenges and we keep fight to break free and create a pace for ourselves. You are always a winner and this beautiful depiction is a testimony to your fascinating life.
    Hope Staci you had a lovely Sunday.

    1. Heyyyyy Nihar. So great to see you. It’s been a while eh. I opened up to your blog last week, and then I had to force quite my computer because it froze on me. Anyhow, I’ve opened up to it again and will be visiting once I finish here.
      Thank you for sharing your insights on the symbolism of the butterfly. I did not know that organizations also use it as a symbolic tool for struggling companies. I had heard of organizations using the symbolism of the bamboo tree, but not the butterfly.
      I also like that you mentioned the wings and the color, symbolizing new life, vibrancy and freedom. I agree. I wanted to write something about that too, but thought it best to keep it brief. I like to place the poem and art as the focal point.
      I hope you’re doing well, and that you have a great week ahead. As for me, I’m off to an arts conference in Rio de Janeiro until Sunday.
      Take care.

      1. Here again Staci. There has been a break. Great to have you back in discussion, have been missing our lovely exchange of ideas, I thought you are quite busy and tied up with many other things. I can understand, never easy to manage going through so many post and able to read and do justice to the post.
        This is quite interesting about Bamboo tree, it would great if you can elaborate and share more details, I am quite keen to learn more on the same. Yes, Butterfly is used a symbol of transformation by organization.
        Best wishes for the art conference in Rio de Janeiro, have a wonderful time and looking forward to see through your eyes and listen to our experience at the conference. I always miss out such gatherings for one reason or the other. Would look forward to reading your post on the same. Arts are so close to my heart. It matters so much to creative people like us.
        Take care!!!

  14. You are an amazing artist and an incredibly beautiful soul, dear Staci!! I understand your journey more than I can say and I am grateful…grateful to know you…grateful to awaken!! And a cereal box…AWESOME!!!!! 🙂 ♡♡♡

    1. Lorrie, you blow me away each time with your amazing comments. You a true encourager, did you know that? 🙂
      I know that you can relate to this. I can just tell from what I’ve read of your blog and what I’ve come to know about you. I know that you can truly appreciate the message here.
      Hehehe, yes a cereal box. I use pizza boxes sometimes too (not that I’m processed pizza eater, but heck, I have two small kids and sometimes I just gotta take it easy. Hahaha)
      I hope you have an amazing week Lorrie. As for me, I’m off to Rio de Janeiro until Sunday for an arts conference.
      Love and hugs.
      🙂 ❤

      1. Ah! Pizza is my favorite food!! 😉 Thank you dear Staci! It seems natural to offer people encouragement…I know how good it feels so I wish to give that good feeling to others 🙂
        Enjoy your conference. ..and Rio!!! Let us know what you learn 🙂 Safe travels ♡

  15. Very thoughtful post. I can relate. I should be dead by now and I´m 33. I can´t even count the numerous ocassions where and inch here or inch there and my life would be gone. Last encounter was at age 30 when I spent 18 days in the ICU, doc´s wanted me to put me in an induced comma if I didn´t pull out. I did eventually with the diagnosis of severe pancreatitis. And afterwards I got out of the ICU I do remember asking a nurse if I would actually pull out of this one, she did say that I needed more time in the hospital ( a total of 1 month and 18 days at the end before releasing me) and that it was really now at this stage a 50-50 chance to see if I could still recover good or I could go bad and get back to ICU. If this had happened to 40 year old they told me I would be dead. I actually entered in the ICU in “shock” ,you know when your body organs are collapsing and your about to enter into a comma which is very hard to get out off. I never have been a religious person, even when those other encounters with death (those where army days) but this last one that happened at age 30, I don´t know why I looked up to HIM, more for my family I think at the time, and asked HIM to help me pull out of this one. Since I pretty much had been out of touch with my familly for years, pretty much since age 19 when I got into the army. Even the doctors where amazed that I pulled through. Quite the miracle really. But not only that last time, but pretty much throghout my adult life. So there must be someone up there looking out for me, and I have no idea why HE wants to let me run around this earth since frankly I screw up quite a lot of times, not so much now, but in the past big time. Fights, homeless drunk. The list goes on. And now that everything is going good next year I have a court date for a roberry that happened about 6 years ago while I was homeless and I tried to brake into a liquor store at night after nobody was there, just to get booze. So I guess that now that I´m not drinking, sometimes I do slip I´ll have to admit, it´s a day to day fight to be sober and do what I love which is to write and which I had put it in hiatus for about 10 years or so, so Im not running around with the bad crowd, nor drinking, nor doing stupid things and now I have to face the consequences of just one failed robbery 6 years ago and the possibility of facing jail time. So I guess that´s HIS way to punish me for my sins of the past and for a reminder that if I drink like I did, I end up doing stupid things that will haunt you forever since if they do find me guilty next year I´ll have a pólice record as a felon. Not that it matters much here in Spain is not like in the U.S. If you look for a job you don´t have and they will not ask if you have a criminal record, but stil, is not something good to say the least. Plus if I have to go to jail, although I doubt it since it´s my first offense of that category, but I have paid numerous amounts of fines for fighting, pissing in the streets, e.t.c. if I have to go to jail, well is certainly going to put everything that I´m builiding now on hold, which pisses me off. But I have to pay the consequences of my act.
    Damn, this was a long comment. And the thing is that I have already wrote about this on my blog some time ago, I´m just shameless I guess.
    By the way I got here since I saw you LIKE´d my comment I made to the other blogger lifeconfussions.
    Nice poetry by the way and man o man, the only place left you have to visit I suppose is the North Pole, you´ve been everywhere. One day hopefuly I can travel to good places.
    Nice meeting you, interesting blog you have here. I´ll stick around if you don´t mind and do what I have famously coined “my cool stalker moves” when time permits.

    1. Heyyyyyy Charly. Wow! That is quite an amazing testamony you have. I am sooooooo glad to meet you, and thank you for sharing this.
      I am going to respond in more detail later because I am literally on the road right now on my way to Rio de Janeiro (about 6 hour drive). Once I am established I will respond and check out your blog.
      Have an amazing day Charlie.

    2. Hey Charlie, I’m back from my travels now. Unfortunately it was a little difficult to blog from where I was. I was only able to access the internet in certain spots, and mostly on my phone. Anyhow, I had a great trip.
      So as I mentioned before, I wanted to respond to your comment in greater detail. I think that’s amazing, the miracle you experienced with your health and all. I met a guy in Rio that told me he was a miracle too. He somehow contacted Hepatitis B, even thought he had been vaccinated. He had a ridiculously enormous amount in his body, that the doctor was shocked when she found out he was entirely cured.
      “So there must be someone up there looking out for me.”
      –Oh yes, I totally believe it. I don’t believe that the world and all we see was just some type of cosmic accident. Something can’t come from nothing right. I believe that there is an amazing, perfect, loving God that is always looking out for His creation. So yes, I believe it.
      “I screw up quite a lot of times, not so much now, but in the past big time”
      –Oh my gosh. You and me both, my friend. I’m a huge screw-up. Maybe not so much as before when I was ignorant, arrogant and lost. But I think that as long as we live in our bodies on this earth, in this world, we will always screw up. Hahaha. Thank God for grace and mercy.
      “I guess that´s HIS way to punish me for my sins of the past”
      –Awwww, nooooo. I don’t think it’s a punishment. I just think it’s like you said to Zee and how you mentioned here as well. Dealing with the consequences. LIke the natural consequences that happen because of our decisions.
      Now that I’m back I’m looking forward to checking out your blog. I’m hopping on over there now.
      Have a great day 🙂

      1. Glad you made it back. I did see on the news that there where some riots in Rio? If I remember correctly.
        Yep, someone up there is looking out for us.

      2. Yea, Rio is not always the safest place. I was going to take my kids to the huge Christ Redeemer monument, but after seeing the news I decided not too. Plus it is soooooo expensive.

  16. We all are like butterflies, start out ugly and awkward. Then morph into beautiful, graceful butterflies everyone loves..

    Beautiful poem and the recycling is incredible!

    1. Heyyyyyyyy Himali. I’m back from my travel. The arts workshop was awesome.
      I like that @start out ugly and awkward, then morph into beautiful, graceful butterflies.
      Thank you so much sweetie. You always bless me. How are you doing?
      Love and hugs.
      🙂 ❤

  17. I can relate to this post, although it feels like I have crawled back into a cocoon again at the moment- I feel that way whenever a significant amount of changes occur simultaneously in my life. I don’t adjust to change easily, so I have to crawl into my cocoon till I am transformed enough and prepared enough to deal with what is on the outside. Only then can I fly again. I feel like life makes us go through many aspects of transformation and this will continue until heaven

    1. Hi Merryn, thank you so much for your comment. I think change is difficult for a lot of people. I’m one of those crazy ones that likes change. Hahaha. It could have to do with my lifestyle. I do, however, hate disruptions in my routine. That type of change I don’t like.
      “I feel like life makes us go through many aspects of transformation and this will continue until heaven”
      –Totally agree.
      Have a great week Merryn.

  18. I can relate to this post, although it feels like I have crawled back into a cocoon again at the moment- I feel that way whenever a significant amount of changes occur simultaneously in my life. I don’t adjust to change easily, so I have to crawl into my cocoon till I am transformed enough and prepared enough to deal with what is on the outside. Only then can I fly again. I feel like life makes us go through many aspects of transformation and this will continue until heaven.

  19. Yeah, definitely can identify with this Staci. My dad died when I was 15, and I became an angry, bitter person, not a boy, not a man. Very angry at God, thought of taking my own life often. Looking back now, I know God was always there, Though many people tried to avoid this angry teenager, there was a retired minister whose mission was to take me “under his wing”. Being very accepting for who I was, and being very non judgemental, he gave me a glimpse of what a metamorphosis with Christ would be like. With no other option I made the decision, and am so glad I did. 🙂

    1. Hi Carl, so sorry It’s taken me so long to reply. My life has been a whirlwind of busyness these past two weeks with workshops and stuff.
      What a great testimony, although I’m sorry you lost your dad. What a wonderful minister to dedicate his time and life to reaching you. I’m glad you made that decision to. And that the minister cared.
      Hope you’re having a great week so far.

      1. Thank you Staci. You must have the same mindset as myself. If I don’t reply to a comment soon, I am feeling bad. 🙂
        It has been a good week also, but also busy. Been asked to do a graveside service next week, and not confirmed yet, but possibly a funeral for a 2nd deceased. In those cases whatever plans you yourself have, lose their place in the priority list.
        Hope your week is going well also! 🙂

      2. Oh my. Funerals? Hmmmm. I guess it’s not the most uplifting type of thing to be involved in. And yes, that is something that definitely needs to take priority.
        God bless you Carl.

      3. The hardest part, is you don’t want to mess up. But also the one time where people listen very intently to what is shared. I meet with the family a day or so beforehand, where I try to get some good memories, and then share them at the funeral. So important to bring joy and hope among the grief and sadness.
        God bless you too!

      4. I remember at my dad’s funeral, my brother gave the eulogy. It was wonderful how God brought the right thing to his mind while he was giving it. My brother really sensed that God was showing him what had happened with my Dad, and I think that is a wonderful thing.
        Have a wonderful weekend Carl.

      5. God really does bring the right thing to mind just when we need it.
        I am sincerely sorry about the loss of your dad. That would have been tough for you to receive the news in Brazil.

      6. Actually, God in His amazing grace and mercy, allowed Him to pass away while I was visiting for two months. My daughter was newly born (just over 5 years ago) so we went there for the family to meet her. During that time my dad gave his life to the Lord (on his birthday), and then passed away 15 days later. If he had passed after I had returned to Brazil, I would have had to pay for another flight, and take my daughter along, who was nursing at the time. Now that would have been tough. I’m just thankful that I was able to have one last talk with him and lead him in a prayer of salvation.

      7. Staci, thank you for sharing this. This gives me goosebumps. WOW, this is amazing. I absolutely LOVE hearing testimonies such as this. God in His amazing grace and mercy. You know with last talk with your dad on earth, now you will be able to talk and spend time with him in glory. What a hope that is.
        Thanks again for sharing! 🙂

  20. This is beautiful!! And I could relate too, that girl was me up until 2 years ago. I always love the metaphor of a butterfly. They are one of the greatest representation of change.

    1. Ohhhh, I’m so pleased you liked this. And yes, I agree. The metaphor of the butterfly is so powerful. A representation of change and transformation.
      Thank you for sharing, and please have a great day.

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