Struggles and Stability

“I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise”.

Way back about 18 years ago (more or less) someone told me that the struggles I was going through were necessary for my growth. In order to be stable and have a firm foundation, I needed to go through them. At the time I hated it. I was an emotional wreck, constantly questioning myself, my thoughts, my faith, my feelings… I used to be run by my feelings, but have since learned that life can’t be lived that way. Oftentimes feelings blind and deceive.

I recently came upon the above quote in the book of Isaiah. it speaks of the rebuilding of a city with precious stones, such as stones of turquoise. Turquoise has been known to symbolize wholeness, spiritual grounding and emotional balance.

I believe my friend was right. I’ve gone through a lot, but it really has served me well. I have been rebuilt with stones of turquoise.

How do you see the struggles of life? Do you allow them to cause growth?

The Need

The Need – Poem on mixed media

You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless, until they can find rest in you. ~Augustine

I am very affected by climate changes. When it’s sunny and warm, I am happy and full of life. When it is cold and grey, I am lethargic and down. Actually, I get very depressed.

I love the quote above by Augustine. It reminds me that my deepest needs can not be met in the material, nor by me. It reminds me that I need to run to one that is greater than me.

This poem was birthed out of deep depression and great need. It reminds me of what King David wrote in the Psalms; “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?”

He spoke to his own soul; so I did the same.  I went to the one that is higher than I and poured out my heart. And you know what? I found rest, comfort and reassurance. My mind was no longer playing tricks on me. I decided I was not going to be a prisoner to the screams in my mind and the tightness in my heart. That doesn’t mean that negative feelings never come back, but they can’t control me.

How do you deal with negative feelings?

Shantih

Shantih – Poem on mixed media

Shanti is a Sanskrit word and means peace, calmness, tranquility. It can be spelled either  with or without an ‘h’ at the end, however, the inclusion of the ‘h’ at the end, most commonly seen in the popular modernist poem by T.S. Eliot, ‘The Wasteland’, translates it as, ‘The peace which passeth understanding.’

The Bible talks about this ‘peace which passeth all understanding’ when it addresses the issue of anxiety. I used to get very anxious, in fact, most of my wrinkles probably come from how anxious I used to get. I have learned though, that there is one infinitely bigger than little old finite me, that is able to carry my load, thankfully.

When I became a Christian, I used to get anxious daily. Sometimes I would return home from work in tears. Then one day, out of nowhere, I sensed that God spoke into my heart, “Staci, you fear me as you feared your dad”. I think the manifestation of that fear was me trying to please God religiously. Whenever I felt the anxiety come on, I always thought it was because I was doing something wrong in the eyes of God. Over time, I realized that God’s love for me didn’t depend on what I did. His acceptance of me was purely and entirely an act of mercy and grace.

One of the most fundamental needs of human beings is relationship. To me, being a Christian is all about that – Relationship.  Relationship, and not religion.

“…My joy and peace. These intangibles slake the thirst of your soul, providing deep satisfaction.” Sarah Young-Jesus Calling

Are you an anxious person? How do you seek peace?

You Inspire Me

You Inspire Me – Poem on Oil

I love to create. I believe we were made to create. It’s like a driving force within. There’s a certain high that comes with creating something. The inspiration high.

I am a huge fan of the Ted Talks. There’s this one I’ve watched a couple of times by Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of ‘Eat, Pray, Love’. She spoke about creativity and how it could be divinely inspired. She shared the following:

In ancient Greece and ancient Rome people did not happen to believe that creativity came from human beings back then. People believed that creativity was this divine attendant spirit that came to human beings from some distant and unknowable source for distant and unknowable reasons. The Greeks famously called these divine attendant spirits of creativity ‘Daemons’. Socrates famously believed that he had a Daemon who spoke to him from afar. The Romans had the same idea but they called that sort of disembodied spirit a ‘Genius’, which was great because the Romans did not actually think that a genius was a particularly clever individual. They believed that a genius was this sort of magical divine entity who was believed to literally live in the walls of an artist’s studio … and who would come out and invisibly assist the artist with their work and who would shape the outcome of that work (source).

Now I don’t believe that there are genius’ in the walls, but I do believe that creativity and inspiration can be divine and is something that has been carved – breathed – into each of us. Like I mentioned in a past post, we all have an impulse to create. It’s in our veins.

Do you love to create? Do you believe that we were made to create? Where do you think creativity and inspiration comes from?

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The above poem is one that I wrote some time ago. I wanted to embed it into an original art piece, because in the past I had it embedded in a photograph. I’m not completely happy about the way the painting turned out, but I guess that’s all part of the learning process.

Please forgive me if I’ve been a little distant lately. I have been quite busy. I will be around very soon though ok. 🙂 ❤

Caged Bird

Caged Bird – poem on mixed media

Childhood is a very important time in a person’s life. Those who raise children can either make or break them. If broken during these fragile, formative years, the outcome can be drastic. It can take a whole lifetime to heal, and oftentimes there are wounds that scar until death.

In an article by Livestrong.com, Heather Weiss said, “Nurturing relationships in a family are critical for the healthy development of a child. If a child feels safe, secure, and loved in their family, it helps with the formation of their self-esteem and well-being. It can also lead to a child who is more socially competent and has better communication skills than a child who does not feel these family connections.”

Any thoughts? Do you agree?

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I wrote this poem a while ago. I had originally created a mixed media piece to go with it, but wanted to change it. This is the new version.

The Vine

The Vine

Did you know that brown is a colour that is associated with belonging. I’ve written about this before – the need to belong.  A need for community. A need for relationship. We were never meant to be alone, but we were made for relationship. I am very content to have relationship with the one who feeds my soul, and cares for me on a holistic level.

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.” 
― C.S. Lewis

How do you nurture this human need for belonging?

Once Lost

Once Lost – A Mussete

The dove is often used to symbolize the Holy Spirit and peace. It also symbolizes the release of the soul in death. It makes me think of eternity actually. I believe in eternity, and that God has placed eternity in the heart of man.

Do you believe in eternity?

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This poetry form, Mussete, is new to me. I found out about it by Ryan over at Days of Stone. I like the challenge of trying out different poetry forms, and used to write a lot more poems using poetry forms in the past. I thought I’d try my hand at it.

 

Color me yellow

Color me yellow – Part 5 of a 9 part poem on mixed media

Don’t you just love the color yellow? It’s such a cheery color. It makes me think of the sun, sunflowers and summer.

Did you know that yellow resonates with the left side of the brain, which is the side of logic? It’s considered non-emotional, and can make one more analytical.

Yellow for me says ‘FUN’. Who doesn’t like fun? It makes me think of the sun waking me in the morning and kissing my brain, stimulating serotonin function.

What does yellow say to you?

Color me pink

Color me Pink – Part 3 of a 9 part poem on mixed media

Have you ever felt pink? I have. I know that most guys reading this will not be able to relate (sorry guys), but I bet you guys have appreciated it when your girlfriend or wife has been feeling pink.

Pink is a special color to feel. It’s the color that says, “Ahhhhh, I think I’ll go down to the outdoor market to buy some flowers today. Maybe daisies or gerberas to display on the dining room table.

It’s the color that comes in that sweet-smelling perfume. Maybe a floral or a vanilla bean.

It’s the color that comes in that pretty little sun dress that one wears on a late spring day. Maybe out to the park, or on an early evening stroll.

It’s the color of little girls dancing in their first ballet, or playing indoors on a rainy day.

Yes, pink is a special color indeed.

What comes to mind when you think of the color pink? How does pink feel to you?

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This is the third part of a nine-part poem and mixed media project I am working on. The ‘Color Me’ poem I wrote just over a year ago and can be read here. I would like to dedicate this post to the lovely Trini. She is the most pink person I know, and I love that about her.

Made to connect

Lover of my soul
Will you listen to me
I know you will
My spirit you see
My heart you touch
My soul you shape
My being is yours
I’m here, please take
Me away to that secret place
Where we connect

Do you long for real relationships? Not the fluff ones, which have no real soul or depth.  The superficial ones where you talk about nothing and they don’t have an impact on your life.  Do you long for relationships where you truly sense there’s a connection? I do.

Connectivity.  It’s what we, human beings long for.  It’s what we were made for.  Relationships. 

This poem was written for the one I have the deepest and most profound relationship with.

Do you have a relationship like that with anyone? Is there anyone you can share your innermost secrets with? If not, do you long for that type of connection?

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I wrote this about a year and a half ago, but wanted to post it again because of what I’ve been living recently. As many of you know, I was just in Rio de Janeiro for an arts workshop. When I returned home, there was another big workshop happening here on my YWAM base. It was wonderful connecting with so many people. We really were made for relationship. I believe that with all my heart.