Romantic Love

 

When you think of the word ‘love’ what comes to mind? ‘Love’ seems to encompass so much more than just the vagueness of one word. The Greek had four different words for our one word. Two days ago I posted about Phileo (or Philia) love, known as a brotherly love, or the love one would find in an authentic friendship. Yesterday’s poem was about Storge love, or affectionate/familial love. Today’s focus is on ‘Eros’ love, or romantic love.

Eros is where we get the English word, ‘erotic’ from. It is the type of love that we would so often hear now-a-day as ‘being in love’ or ‘falling in love’. It is the type of love that lights a fire within us and is felt physically, sensually, romantically, etc. Eros is what allows us to procreate with pleasure.

I have read a couple of articles that have suggested that eros naturally fades in a sensual relationship within the span of a year. Although, one specific source, ‘From Eros To Agape’ suggested that he doesn’t think it has to fade at all. “Types of Love” says, “Although this romantic love is important in the beginning of a new relationship, it may not last unless it moves a notch higher because it focuses more on self instead of the other person. If the person “in love” does not feel good about their relationship anymore, they will stop loving their partner.”

I love this one quote by CS Lewis, from his book, “The Four Loves”

–Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities. –CS Lewis

I believe that it’s this type of love that many youth (and not-so-youth) now-a-day consider ‘Love’. Once one falls out of love, they discard the object of their past affection, breaking a heart and hurting emotions. ‘Love’ in this sense then, is purely selfish.

Do you think that many now-a-day think of ‘Eros love’ as ‘Love’ itself? Do you think Eros, in and of itself, completes a relationship between two people?

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The above poem is a modern version (The Message) of the book, “Song of Solomon” from the Bible.

Familial Love

 

When you think of the word ‘love’ what comes to mind? ‘Love’ seems to encompass so much more than just the vagueness of one word. The Greek had four different words for our one word. Yesterday I posted about Phileo (or Philia) love, known as a brotherly love, or the love one would find in an authentic friendship. Today’s poem is about Storge love, or affectionate/familial love. It is the type of love found amongst family members or within a community. It implies that there is a deep commitment and certain duty that goes along with it. Even for married couples, when there seems to be no sex drive, or they go for a long time not being intimate, this is the type of love the holds them together. They are loyal to each other. They stick together, through thick and thin. They have a commitment to each other, and their commitment is, in a large part, unconditional.

I found the following on Wikipedia about CS Lewis’ book, “The Four Loves”:

• It is described as the most natural, emotive, and widely diffused of loves: natural in that it is present without coercion; emotive because it is the result of fondness due to familiarity; and most widely diffused because it pays the least attention to those characteristics deemed “valuable” or worthy of love and, as a result, is able to transcend most discriminating factors.

What do you think of this statement? Do you think that there is a lack of Storge love now-a-day, especially amongst married couples and lovers? Do you think that the lack of this love could be part of the reason we see so much divorce and lack of commitment? What are your views on this?

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The Katauta poetry form is a short Japanese form, much like the Haiku. It is three lines in length. The first line has five syllables. The second line has seven syllables. And the last line has five or seven syllables. It does not have to rhyme.

 

Friendship Love (clogyrnach)

 

Philia is one of four ancient Greek words for love, and this specific word implies a love felt between friends. Thomas Jay Oord defines it as an intentional response to promote well-being when cooperating with or befriending others, and that it also gives humans authentic friendship (source). For Aristotle, the object of philia is “another oneself” because one must feel philia for oneself in order to feel the highest form of philia for another (source). CS Lewis describes it as  the least biological, organic, instinctive, gregarious and necessary of loves. It is a type of love that is freely chosen. He believed this type of love to be almost ‘a lost art’ and that modern society ignores friendship, in comparison with examples we have from the past (source).

What do you think? Do you agree with CS Lewis? Do you think that modern society ignores true, authentic ‘philia’? And if so, how do you think that has impacted western, and/or global culture today?

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Clogyrnach is a poetry form of 6 lines. The first two lines has 8 syllables each. Lines three and four have five syllables each. The last two lines have three syllables each. Lines one, two and six must rhyme, and lines three, four and five must rhyme.