Struggles and Stability

“I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise”.

Way back about 18 years ago (more or less) someone told me that the struggles I was going through were necessary for my growth. In order to be stable and have a firm foundation, I needed to go through them. At the time I hated it. I was an emotional wreck, constantly questioning myself, my thoughts, my faith, my feelings… I used to be run by my feelings, but have since learned that life can’t be lived that way. Oftentimes feelings blind and deceive.

I recently came upon the above quote in the book of Isaiah. it speaks of the rebuilding of a city with precious stones, such as stones of turquoise. Turquoise has been known to symbolize wholeness, spiritual grounding and emotional balance.

I believe my friend was right. I’ve gone through a lot, but it really has served me well. I have been rebuilt with stones of turquoise.

How do you see the struggles of life? Do you allow them to cause growth?

The Need

The Need – Poem on mixed media

You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless, until they can find rest in you. ~Augustine

I am very affected by climate changes. When it’s sunny and warm, I am happy and full of life. When it is cold and grey, I am lethargic and down. Actually, I get very depressed.

I love the quote above by Augustine. It reminds me that my deepest needs can not be met in the material, nor by me. It reminds me that I need to run to one that is greater than me.

This poem was birthed out of deep depression and great need. It reminds me of what King David wrote in the Psalms; “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?”

He spoke to his own soul; so I did the same.  I went to the one that is higher than I and poured out my heart. And you know what? I found rest, comfort and reassurance. My mind was no longer playing tricks on me. I decided I was not going to be a prisoner to the screams in my mind and the tightness in my heart. That doesn’t mean that negative feelings never come back, but they can’t control me.

How do you deal with negative feelings?

Color me Green

Color me Green – Part 6 of a 9 part poem on mixed media

Did you know that green is the easiest color for the eyes to process? It is said to evoke growth, healing, peacefulness and calm. It’s the color of life and renewal. It is a secondary color, meaning it is made up of two primary colors – yellow and blue. It gets it’s optimism from yellow, and it’s peacefulness from blue.

It’s no wonder that my focus is on the green girl right now, because green is known to balance emotions. I have struggled for a number of years with… er, um… we don’t really know. I suffered with extreme insomnia for years, and finally did something about it when I wasn’t falling asleep until daybreak the next day. There were thoughts of it being depression, bi-polar disorder, anxiety disorder and ADHD. I had been on medication since 2004 because of it, however I was having some undesirable side effects. My doctor decided to change medications because of it. I was suppose to slowly wean myself off of the medication I was already taking in order to start the new one.

When I started lowering the dosage, I began feeling down, depressed and a bit irritated. I went to see a friend a couple of days into this and her sisters were there visiting. I told them about what I was going through and they prayed for me. Since then, my mood completely changed. Even my husband was shocked by how tranquil and easy going I had become. I’m still weaning myself off of it, but I really don’t think I’ll have to start the other meds.

Yes, I think green is a wonderful color. Balanced emotions for someone who has been unbalanced for so long is a huge delight.

Have you ever struggled with unbalanced emotions? What do you do to deal with them?

 

 

Color me pink

Color me Pink – Part 3 of a 9 part poem on mixed media

Have you ever felt pink? I have. I know that most guys reading this will not be able to relate (sorry guys), but I bet you guys have appreciated it when your girlfriend or wife has been feeling pink.

Pink is a special color to feel. It’s the color that says, “Ahhhhh, I think I’ll go down to the outdoor market to buy some flowers today. Maybe daisies or gerberas to display on the dining room table.

It’s the color that comes in that sweet-smelling perfume. Maybe a floral or a vanilla bean.

It’s the color that comes in that pretty little sun dress that one wears on a late spring day. Maybe out to the park, or on an early evening stroll.

It’s the color of little girls dancing in their first ballet, or playing indoors on a rainy day.

Yes, pink is a special color indeed.

What comes to mind when you think of the color pink? How does pink feel to you?

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This is the third part of a nine-part poem and mixed media project I am working on. The ‘Color Me’ poem I wrote just over a year ago and can be read here. I would like to dedicate this post to the lovely Trini. She is the most pink person I know, and I love that about her.

The Poet and Poem (Etheree)

Life
A prayer
Poetry
In the making
Physical being
Emotion and feeling
Intellectual reason
Tears, laugh, joy, pain, love, hate, loss, gain
Combine, intertwine in space and time
Carefully shaped by hands of the divine

Have you ever thought of life, and all it entails, as being a poem? Have you ever thought about what the true meaning of ‘poem’ is? I have.

Yesterday, I read a post from a fellow blogger and amazing poet. The last stanza in His poem entitled, “Cloud 9” goes like this: “life and poetry are all the same”. It was that line that inspired this poem.

The origin of the word, “poetry” in English is taken by the Greek, “poetica”, which is derived from the verb, “poiein”, that means, “to make” (source).  Another Greek word, from where we get poem and poetry from, is “poiema” and means, “workmanship” or “something made” (source). As a Christian, I believe that I have been divinely made by a great poet and that all that my life entails is what is becoming a passionate and spirited poem.

I came across an amazing song and video on YouTube by the composer “Michael Card”. His song, “Poem of your life” says it all. If you have the time, please check it out – Poem of your life (you may have to turn the subtitles off in the bottom left hand corner of the screen).

How about you? Have you ever thought of your life as a poem? Have you ever thought of yourself as “someone made” by a great poet?

Ping back: The Divine (clogynarch) 

A Human Being (Haiku)

Words, Mind, Emotions

Have you ever felt like you just can’t seem to calm your mind? Too many words and thoughts popping in and out? Have your raging thoughts ever effected your emotions, making it difficult for you to find stillness and peace? I have.

Just yesterday I was trying to have my quiet time with God in my secret place. I tried sitting and praying. I tried reading. I was restless in mind and thought. I just couldn’t seem to break through. Then I got up and started to pace and pray to see if I could somehow get focus and concentration happening in my mind. Didn’t work.

As a Christian, I believe that there is a spiritual world, and that the weapons I fight with are not carnal or material. They are spiritual. Oftentimes, I feel that the battle is in the mind, which in turn, affects the emotions. It is up to me to choose whether I’m going to believe the lies that are shot like arrows at me, or if I’m going to believe God. I chose God, because He never lets me down, and I can trust in His word. Even when feelings are up and down, He is constantly stable.

Now you may not be a Christian, or believe in the spirit world, but I’m sure all of us have gone through similar experiences. How do you deal with bombarding thoughts and raging emotions? Do you go through some type of process, and if so, what is it?

A Beautiful Chaotic Mess

 

Sunshine
Happiness
Love
Smiles
Everywhere I look
Beauty for miles and miles

Anxious
Worried
Stressed out
Hurried
Mind is racing
Heart is chasing

Peace
Purpose
Stability
Security
Emotions all over
Reason trying to take over

I am who I am
And will always be
A beautiful chaotic mess
But firm in thee
Sometimes I wander
And lose my way
Bring me back to you
Bring me back today

Do you ever feel like this?  How do you deal with the chaos that happens in your mind sometimes?  Do you ever feel emotionally out of control?

Penny for your thoughts hmmmmm…

Photo credit:  Getty Images www.bigquestionsonline.com