Struggles and Stability

“I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise”.

Way back about 18 years ago (more or less) someone told me that the struggles I was going through were necessary for my growth. In order to be stable and have a firm foundation, I needed to go through them. At the time I hated it. I was an emotional wreck, constantly questioning myself, my thoughts, my faith, my feelings… I used to be run by my feelings, but have since learned that life can’t be lived that way. Oftentimes feelings blind and deceive.

I recently came upon the above quote in the book of Isaiah. it speaks of the rebuilding of a city with precious stones, such as stones of turquoise. Turquoise has been known to symbolize wholeness, spiritual grounding and emotional balance.

I believe my friend was right. I’ve gone through a lot, but it really has served me well. I have been rebuilt with stones of turquoise.

How do you see the struggles of life? Do you allow them to cause growth?

Wings to fly

Wings to fly – Poem on Mixed media

We live in a fallen, fractured world of broken people and fragmented value systems. Some are fortunate enough to have a happy and healthy upbringing, but I would dare to say that they are in the minority.

I lived in fear of my dad, and don’t know what it means to have or feel affection towards him. I’m not one to lick past wounds and wallow in sorrow; however, I do recognize that our upbringing shapes us and makes us into who we eventually become as adults. For example, my mom used to make my brothers and me watch documentaries on what drugs can do to someone. I’m so glad she did, because although I dabbled in a little experimentation in my youth, drugs always frightened the heck out of me.

Another personal example, and as stated above, is that I grew up in fear of my dad. He was a broken alcoholic and had many unhealthy issues that were never dealt with. Because of that, my childhood was robbed from me. Because of that, my idea of family was distorted and messed up.

I have worked on finding healing in this area. When I was a fairly new Christian, I would leave for work in the morning at peace, after spending some quiet time with God. By the time I got home, I was full of anxiety. When I felt anxious, I always thought I was doing something that God didn’t approve of. One day He showed me that I feared him the way I feared my dad, and that was revelatory for me.

How about you? Do you believe that we live in a broken world? Do you think that our upbringing makes a huge difference on our emotional and mental well-being?

 

Caged Bird

Caged Bird – poem on mixed media

Childhood is a very important time in a person’s life. Those who raise children can either make or break them. If broken during these fragile, formative years, the outcome can be drastic. It can take a whole lifetime to heal, and oftentimes there are wounds that scar until death.

In an article by Livestrong.com, Heather Weiss said, “Nurturing relationships in a family are critical for the healthy development of a child. If a child feels safe, secure, and loved in their family, it helps with the formation of their self-esteem and well-being. It can also lead to a child who is more socially competent and has better communication skills than a child who does not feel these family connections.”

Any thoughts? Do you agree?

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I wrote this poem a while ago. I had originally created a mixed media piece to go with it, but wanted to change it. This is the new version.

Once Lost

Once Lost – A Mussete

The dove is often used to symbolize the Holy Spirit and peace. It also symbolizes the release of the soul in death. It makes me think of eternity actually. I believe in eternity, and that God has placed eternity in the heart of man.

Do you believe in eternity?

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This poetry form, Mussete, is new to me. I found out about it by Ryan over at Days of Stone. I like the challenge of trying out different poetry forms, and used to write a lot more poems using poetry forms in the past. I thought I’d try my hand at it.

 

Color me Green

Color me Green – Part 6 of a 9 part poem on mixed media

Did you know that green is the easiest color for the eyes to process? It is said to evoke growth, healing, peacefulness and calm. It’s the color of life and renewal. It is a secondary color, meaning it is made up of two primary colors – yellow and blue. It gets it’s optimism from yellow, and it’s peacefulness from blue.

It’s no wonder that my focus is on the green girl right now, because green is known to balance emotions. I have struggled for a number of years with… er, um… we don’t really know. I suffered with extreme insomnia for years, and finally did something about it when I wasn’t falling asleep until daybreak the next day. There were thoughts of it being depression, bi-polar disorder, anxiety disorder and ADHD. I had been on medication since 2004 because of it, however I was having some undesirable side effects. My doctor decided to change medications because of it. I was suppose to slowly wean myself off of the medication I was already taking in order to start the new one.

When I started lowering the dosage, I began feeling down, depressed and a bit irritated. I went to see a friend a couple of days into this and her sisters were there visiting. I told them about what I was going through and they prayed for me. Since then, my mood completely changed. Even my husband was shocked by how tranquil and easy going I had become. I’m still weaning myself off of it, but I really don’t think I’ll have to start the other meds.

Yes, I think green is a wonderful color. Balanced emotions for someone who has been unbalanced for so long is a huge delight.

Have you ever struggled with unbalanced emotions? What do you do to deal with them?

 

 

A Caged Bird

Childhood is a very important time in a person’s life. Those who raise children can either make or break them. If broken during these fragile, formative years, the outcome can be drastic. It can take a whole lifetime to heal, and oftentimes there are wounds that scar until death.

Do you agree with the above?

 

 

Wings to fly

I’m of the belief that we live in a fallen, fractured world of many broken people and fragmented value systems. Not trying to be a downer. Really. I write this because of what I’ve been dealing with lately. Like many, the world over, their childhoods weren’t a time of happy-go-lucky and peaches and cream. I lived in fear of my dad, and don’t know what it means to have/feel affection towards him. I’m not one to lick past wounds and wallow in sorrow over these events. However, I do recognize that our upbringing shapes us and makes us into who we eventually become as adults. For example, my mom used to make my brothers and me watch documentaries on what drugs can do to someone. I’m so glad she did, because although I dabbled in a little experimentation in my youth, drugs always frightened the heck out of me. Thanks mom. Another example. I grew up in fear of my dad. He was a broken alcoholic and had many unhealthy issues that were never dealt with. Because of that, my childhood was robbed from me. Because of that, my idea of family was distorted and messed up.

Lately I’ve been actively working on finding healing in this area. When I was a fairly new Christian, I would leave for work in the morning at peace, after spending some quiet time with God. By the time I got home, I was a bundle of anxiety. When I felt anxious, I always thought I was doing something wrong and that God didn’t approve of. One day He showed me that I fear him the way I feared my dad, and that was revelatory for me. Now I’m starting to see even deeper issues and working on healing from that.

How about you? Do you believe that we live in a broken world? Do you think that our upbringing makes a huge difference on our emotional and mental well-being?

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On a happy note, I’m super excited that I’m doing this mixed media course. The above piece is from the first class. Have a great weekend. 🙂