Wings to fly

Wings to fly – Poem on Mixed media

We live in a fallen, fractured world of broken people and fragmented value systems. Some are fortunate enough to have a happy and healthy upbringing, but I would dare to say that they are in the minority.

I lived in fear of my dad, and don’t know what it means to have or feel affection towards him. I’m not one to lick past wounds and wallow in sorrow; however, I do recognize that our upbringing shapes us and makes us into who we eventually become as adults. For example, my mom used to make my brothers and me watch documentaries on what drugs can do to someone. I’m so glad she did, because although I dabbled in a little experimentation in my youth, drugs always frightened the heck out of me.

Another personal example, and as stated above, is that I grew up in fear of my dad. He was a broken alcoholic and had many unhealthy issues that were never dealt with. Because of that, my childhood was robbed from me. Because of that, my idea of family was distorted and messed up.

I have worked on finding healing in this area. When I was a fairly new Christian, I would leave for work in the morning at peace, after spending some quiet time with God. By the time I got home, I was full of anxiety. When I felt anxious, I always thought I was doing something that God didn’t approve of. One day He showed me that I feared him the way I feared my dad, and that was revelatory for me.

How about you? Do you believe that we live in a broken world? Do you think that our upbringing makes a huge difference on our emotional and mental well-being?

 

Butterfly Tears

Mixed media and poem

Butterflies often symbolize transformation, and rightly so. I mean, they start out as a creepy crawly caterpillar, bound to the ground. Then they hide away for a bit in seclusion, all alone. Once their cocoon breaks open, they are set free. They’re given a new colourful body and wings to fly.

I like to compare this process of metamorphosis in the natural world to my own life experience. I see myself as this sad, dark and empty girl in the artwork above. Not me today, but years ago when I was young and immature. Years ago when I was asking what the heck I was doing here on Earth. When I was living an empty, meaningless life, without direction or purpose.

When I came to my senses and decided to leave that life behind, my transformation started. It didn’t happen overnight though. I spun a good thick cocoon because it took time. A long time. I am thankful that God has pulled me through. I owe it all to Him, because I know that I couldn’t do it alone. Nobody can.

I would love to know if you can relate to this at all. Please share your own experience.

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The above painting was done on recycled material. An empty cereal box actually.

Wings to fly

I’m of the belief that we live in a fallen, fractured world of many broken people and fragmented value systems. Not trying to be a downer. Really. I write this because of what I’ve been dealing with lately. Like many, the world over, their childhoods weren’t a time of happy-go-lucky and peaches and cream. I lived in fear of my dad, and don’t know what it means to have/feel affection towards him. I’m not one to lick past wounds and wallow in sorrow over these events. However, I do recognize that our upbringing shapes us and makes us into who we eventually become as adults. For example, my mom used to make my brothers and me watch documentaries on what drugs can do to someone. I’m so glad she did, because although I dabbled in a little experimentation in my youth, drugs always frightened the heck out of me. Thanks mom. Another example. I grew up in fear of my dad. He was a broken alcoholic and had many unhealthy issues that were never dealt with. Because of that, my childhood was robbed from me. Because of that, my idea of family was distorted and messed up.

Lately I’ve been actively working on finding healing in this area. When I was a fairly new Christian, I would leave for work in the morning at peace, after spending some quiet time with God. By the time I got home, I was a bundle of anxiety. When I felt anxious, I always thought I was doing something wrong and that God didn’t approve of. One day He showed me that I fear him the way I feared my dad, and that was revelatory for me. Now I’m starting to see even deeper issues and working on healing from that.

How about you? Do you believe that we live in a broken world? Do you think that our upbringing makes a huge difference on our emotional and mental well-being?

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On a happy note, I’m super excited that I’m doing this mixed media course. The above piece is from the first class. Have a great weekend. 🙂