Butterfly Tears

Mixed media and poem

Butterflies often symbolize transformation, and rightly so. I mean, they start out as a creepy crawly caterpillar, bound to the ground. Then they hide away for a bit in seclusion, all alone. Once their cocoon breaks open, they are set free. They’re given a new colourful body and wings to fly.

I like to compare this process of metamorphosis in the natural world to my own life experience. I see myself as this sad, dark and empty girl in the artwork above. Not me today, but years ago when I was young and immature. Years ago when I was asking what the heck I was doing here on Earth. When I was living an empty, meaningless life, without direction or purpose.

When I came to my senses and decided to leave that life behind, my transformation started. It didn’t happen overnight though. I spun a good thick cocoon because it took time. A long time. I am thankful that God has pulled me through. I owe it all to Him, because I know that I couldn’t do it alone. Nobody can.

I would love to know if you can relate to this at all. Please share your own experience.

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The above painting was done on recycled material. An empty cereal box actually.

Eternity in her heart

There is a verse in the book, ‘Ecclesiastes’ that says, “It is beautiful how God has done everything at the right time. He has put a sense of eternity in people’s minds. Yet, mortals still can’t grasp what God is doing from the beginning to the end of time.”

I believe in eternity, and that there is more to existence then just time and space. More than just the material and physical. More than just the few years we have here.

What do you think? Do you believe in eternity? That there is something beyond our life experiences?

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I am back. After a week and a half with very little internet access, I am so happy to be home. How did we ever live without the internet? Hahaha. I’m looking forward to catching up in the blogosphere. 

The above piece was inspired by a piece I found on pinterest. I am very proud of it and can’t believe that I created it. It turned out perfect for what I had in mind.

Come away

What do you like to do in the morning?  Where do you find peace and strength?

Where are you looking for happiness?

I absolutely love the movie, “Peaceful Warrior”.  It has inspired me to do a blog series called, “Who, What, Where, When and Why?” This post is the third of this five part series.  And it is inspired by the film’s quote, “Are you happy?”

Whoever said that being married was easy?  That it was a rainbow of colours?  That it meant bright happy days and the absence of sorrow and suffering?  It’s a far cry from any of that.  Don’t get me wrong.  I love my husband and am passionate about my family, but even after 10 years of marriage, it’s stinking hard.  It’s always been hard and I don’t expect that it will ever be easy.  Life is all about making decisions.  And I would have to say that marriage is like that too.  We, as human beings, are soooooo selfish.  We want things our way.  And we want others to fall into our perfect plan, and our ‘perfect’ way.

My awesome husband was traveling for just over a month in order to film his second feature-length film, ‘Internal Mazes’.  During that time I was alone with the kids and had established a daily routine that worked out perfect for me.  I was feeling happy, healthy and energetic.  Then he returned and that routine turned upside down.  Now anybody that knows me very well knows that I LOVE routine.  I thrive when I am in my routine.  I freak out when that routine is all out of whack.  My diet goes haywire.  I get tired and discombobulated.  I drink too much coffee and look for ways to be ‘happy’. So I really need my routine.

I want to share about making decisions though.  We all need to live our lives daily making choices.  And even though I may, at times, feel as if my life is hopeless.  Or as if my marriage won’t be the way I totally want it.  I will still choose to love him.  I will not give up on him, nor our marriage. I’m not perfect, so why should I expect perfection from him (or anybody else, for that matter). Love is a verb, meaning action.  It is patient and kind. It is not proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, it does not hold grudges. It never gives up, never loses faith and endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 4-5&7).  And who says that I would ever be happier in another marriage anyhow?  Who says that my circumstances would give me happiness and contentment?

I mentioned above about looking for ways to be ‘happy’.  So many people think that they will be happy if they just have ‘this’, or if they just have ‘that’.  If they make a lot of money, or have the ‘perfect’ car.  If they find that ‘perfect’ man or woman to share their life with. Or if they reach a certain goal, or obtain a certain title.  Well, I’m so sorry my friends, but none of that will bring true happiness.  Even if everything works out my way and things go according to my plans, that still won’t bring true happiness.  We all have a deep need within our spirits that cries out for completeness and meaning.  A vaccum that is waiting to be filled with Truth and realness.  So then, where do we find this Truth?  Where do we find this Truth that will make us complete, at peace and enable us to live a life with meaning and purpose?  Enable us to find fulfillment, regardless of our circumstances?

It is popular now-a-day to ‘create’ your own truth.  But how absurd is that?  How can one – tiny, fragile, mortal, creature (called ‘human-being’) ‘create’ his own truth?  Either something is truth or it is not.  Black will never be white and pink will never be green.  Vegetables will never be meat, and milk will never be almonds.  Am I right?  Don’t try and tell me that black is white because I will already know that is not true.

So then, the same goes for my belief system.  I choose to believe in Truth.  And I believe that Jesus is Truth.  That He is the only way to find true fulfillment and satisfaction.  That He is the only one that can give meaning to life and can complete me as a person.  My husband can not complete me.  He is just a fragile, mortal, imperfect individual that will one day die – just like me – and just like every single person that walks on the face of this earth.  And my lifestyle – my job, food, fitness, family, and the list goes on – will never complete me.  All these things will pass away.  And when I am old and ready to leave this world, nothing that I can find here – nothing that is temporal – will go into eternity with me.  Just the decisions I have made and the way that I have lived my life.

So then, where are you looking for happiness?  Where are you searching for peace, contentment and meaning?  Where are you looking to find that which completes you?  I’m interested to know your story.  Please leave a comment and let’s discuss this.