Spiritual

Am I Relevant?


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Have you ever felt like your life didn’t make much of a difference?  Like you’re not very influential or relevant?  Like you’re not being very active in this world?  That’s how I’m feeling today.  Ok, I’ll confess, I’m already kind of an up and down type of person. I’ve even thought that I could possibly be bi-polar at times in my life.  But I really am such a feeler.  I’m often driven by my feelings, which makes it difficult for me to see things logically at times.  Thank God that he gave me the husband that he did (strong thinker).  Anyhow, this is how I’m feeling today.  I used to be so active in world missions.  I’ve traveled all over the world to reach out and share Truth with people.  Since I became a mom things have been a bit different.  Oftentimes I long to do something “relevant”.  To be used by the all powerful in a way that makes a difference and touches lives.  Because ultimately, there is no greater ‘feeling’ than when you are given the opportunity to impact someones life.  Albert Einstein had it right all along.

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Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.  WOW!

But then again, I am living my life for others.  I am raising two little people to be responsible, caring, gentle, Truth-loving individuals.  I have two little disciples that are in my care.  Two little beings that I am totally and completely responsible for. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.

I also have an awesome husband that has an amazing talent in the areas of sociology, teaching and filmmaking.  I really want to see him grow and be successful in this area and so I am available to serve in any way that I can – be it translation, social media, administrative stuff, etc.  Who ever said that a missionary had to always be out on the front lines.  What about all the other necessary stuff that others just don’t see?

I also have my blog, and who knows, maybe someday, sometime, somewhere, someone may be impacted by what I have to say.  Or may be impacted by one of my songs.  Or maybe even just a simple recipe or fitness routine I post.  Who knows?

I just don’t want to be a doer.  Trying to search for something to do so that others may see and think I am of relevance and significance.  So that others can say, “Hey, look what she’s doing.  She’s really reaching out.  Amen.” Uh uh.  No way.  I’ve learned that I am not defined by what I do.  I am not defined by what others think of me.  I am not even defined by what I think of myself.  Nope.  I am defined by what my creator thinks of me.  And he says that I am precious.  I am worthy.  I am loved.  I am cared for.  I am special.  I am beautiful.  I am even lovely (even with my strong temperament and all.)  He sings over me and calms me with his peace and the quietness of his love.  It can’t get any better than that.

So, I’m not going to be a Martha, worried about needing to be “busy”.  I want to be Mary, sitting at His feet and listening to Him.  Allowing His sweet presence to wash over me, bringing tears to my eyes, health to my spirit, peace to my soul and tranquility of being.

What do you consider to be “being relevant”?  Please leave a comment and let me know.