Poem

Despair (Loop)

stacilys

Despair

 

This poem is in response to the weekly poetry prompt from The Reverie Journal. Our prompt was the following wordle:

wordle

I really like the Loop poetry form, so I thought I’d give it a go with this one.

Although this is in response to a prompt, I would still like to throw some questions out there.

Do you have any regrets from the past? How do you deal with them? Do you let them get the best of you, or do you forgive yourself, try to make amends and learn from them?

The loop poetry form is exactly as it suggests. The last word of each line becomes the first line in the next.

Published by stacilys

I’m just a simple girl that is passionate about being relevant and making a difference in this world. World traveler, lover of bright sunny days, experiencing cultures, good friends and conversation. I love my God and love my family. I don’t believe that I have the Truth, but that I have a relationship with Truth and want to be closer to Him. Canadian, born and raised in Vancouver, BC. YWAMer since 2000 and have traveled and lived all over the world –Hong Kong, China, India, Bangladesh, Nepal, Afghanistan, Turkey, Germany, Argentina, Australia and The USA. I moved to Brazil in 2002, married an awesome “Baiano”, Daniel, and we have two adorable kiddies, Caue and Hannah. I am certified in fitness and nutrition and conducted physical conditioning classes while working with an arts and evangelism team and schools. I am also certified in TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) and TEYL (Teaching English to Young Learners). "A God Coloured Girl in a Grey World" is my blog where I write articles based on my faith, post fitness routines, recipes and other health and wellness stuff. You can also check out a bit of my music at www.myspace.com/stacilys

65 thoughts on “Despair (Loop)”

  1. I think about the past and my mistakes. I reflect on the loop those poor choices have created for me. And I wish I had chosen better, not compromised standards and being stronger.

    But I don’t dwell on them. They simply serve as a tool for reflection, and a reminder that things didn’t pan out so well because I made poor choices, and now I must make better choices.

    I also try to remember that good advice comes from experience, and all that from bad experience. If my mistakes provide a means to help someone out, then I am not going to regret that. In the end everything that happened was because I let it.

    **sorry for the epistle and nice poem 🙂

    Reply

    1. Hi Uju – Oh yes, I love what you said about, ‘simply serve as a tool for reflection’ and also, ‘good advice comes from experience’. That’s just it, isn’t it? Life is all about making choices, and the wrong ones we make teach us valuable lessons, so longing we’re open to learn from them. We are continually learning in life.
      I think it’s also very important not to dwell on them, like you said. Just learn from them, make amends where needed, and get on with life. No licking past wounds.

      Hahahahaha. No problem. I liked the epistle and am glad you wrote it.
      🙂

      Reply

  2. That’s really good Staci!
    I have a lot of regrets, but sometimes things, that are meant to happen just happen, because they are pre-planed for us, so we can grow and learn from them. I don’t dwell on those, but in moments of sadness they come to haunt me and this is the time I ask God to grant me peace… and He ALWAYS does!

    Reply

    1. Oh yes, sometimes what seems bad is really a blessing in disguise. I have done things in my past that I regret as well, but most of the bad I did was so long ago that I don’t even think about them anymore. It’s wonderful when we can find the grace to forgive ourselves and accept God’s forgiveness as well.
      Thanks Sibella

      Reply

  3. Yes, I have regrets in my life. It’s a conundrum, though. These mistakes made me who I am today. If I have regrets, do I therefore regret who I am?

    Reply

    1. Funny how that works, isn’t it. Even though we make mistakes, they can shape us into a person of greater character. Not to mention, teach us valuable life lessons.
      Huh? I don’t get the second part of your comment Rob. I think it just may a bit too philosophical for me. Hehehe. Just joking (kind of).
      🙂

      Reply

      1. It’s just something that I think about when I think of my past. Not that I was a criminal or anything, but surely that there are things I should have differently. It’s like the idea of changing something in the timeline if you could go back in time. What would things be like in life today?

      2. Hmmmmmm. Yes, I would not like to imagine how my life would be today if I kept going down the same path I was on when I was 20. Eek! Scary thought.
        🙂

    1. Hey, thanks. Yes, it’s a tad sad, isn’t it? Completely fictional though.
      I guess we all have regrets eh. I’m not one to dwell too long either.
      Hugs to you.
      🙂

      Reply

  7. wow – this is such deep, classical and beautiful! “If I’m sincere today, what does it matter if I regret it tomorrow?”

    Reply

    1. Thanks Mihrank. I’ve done some loop poetry before and thought I just might try it again for this one.
      So glad to see that you live your life with sincerity. It definitely serves as a safeguard so that tomorrow there will be no regrets.
      Great thoughts.
      🙂

      Reply

  8. Oh…I love this Staci! Great job…it feels like it is rolling to the conclusion…great form…and you did a really wonderful job on it. 🙂

    Regrets…I’ve had a few…. (yes…I am singing!!) I remember when I was young I heard the saying “Regret something you DID do…not something you DIDN’T do!” And that made so much sense to me…so I have pretty much lived my life this way! But they really are few…
    ❤

    Reply

    1. Awwwwww, thank you so much Lorrie. I always feel so great from your comments. You are a true encourager.

      Hahahaha. That put a smile on my face (‘yes…I am singing’). I guess we all have regrets at some point or another in our lives eh. I had never heard that before though about regretting what you did do, and not what you didn’t. Food for thought there Lorrie.

      Thanks again and many hugs.
      🙂

      Reply

  9. They say regrets are resentments towards ourselves. As much as I need to forgive others, I also need to forgive myself. I have come to that place, in my old way of life and the things I did. Oh sure I get the occasional cringe about thinking when I did X, Y or Z. But I try to be gentle to myself and realize I am meant to make mistakes. Dwelling on them brings me no peace, and if I learn from them, well then that’s the point.

    Great poem, my friend 🙂

    Paul

    Reply

    1. Very well said Paul. We really need to learn to forgive ourselves. If not, the regrets will keep eating away at us. I think that’s what we really need to do, is learn from our mistakes, make amends where necessary and carry on with our lives. No licking past wounds. But learning and growing and becoming more mature, and so on.
      Thanks Paul. Just keep learning in this school of life. I’m trying too.
      Many hugs and thanks for the compliment on my poem too.

      🙂

      Reply

  10. Beautiful poem ❤

    Regrets? Yes I have many. Some just minor that I've accepted and didn't stress about, others fall under the "not meant to be". The deepest ones are chances not taken during my last relationship (relationship that should have ended a lot sooner than it did). But then I think I was needed at the time, so maybe that was the purpose.
    And then there's the fear of others' opinion….
    I need to learn to forgive myself

    Reply

    1. Oh yes, the fear of others’ opinion. I know that well. I suffered from that a lot, especially when I was younger.
      I guess we all have regrets and our own experiences. I like to think of them as lessons. If we are open, with a a teachable heart, we can learn from our mistakes. Life is a school, right? 😉
      I’ve been in some nasty relationships before. Relationships that I never should have had really. I was a teenager and insecure. I think insecurities cause us to do things we regret many times.
      Thanks for sharing a bit of yourself and your thoughts. And thank you for the lovely compliment.
      🙂

      Reply

      1. My pleasure beautiful 😊
        Your questions are making me and others think…I really like it ❤️

  11. Stunning! Thanks for giving me some new ideas on writing. There was a time I lived in despair but once I experienced the power of forgiveness I never went back. My whole outlook on life has changed because of it. It taught me to give myself a break and enjoy life.

    Reply

    1. Hey yes, no problem at all. I like this poetry form. It can be fun and a bit of a challenge as well. You should try it out Vernon.
      Well said, the power of forgiveness is amazing. Really, there’s nothing like it. Resentment and regrets can eat away at us, but once we learn to receive forgiveness and forgive ourselves as well, there is such freedom.
      Wonderful thoughts Vernon. Thanks for sharing.
      🙂

      Reply

  12. Well done girl! 🙂 I like that loop format it really gives the poem that 1-2 punch. We all have temptations and we all have those bad habits that itch at us like ticks. So I like how your poem reflected on the struggles of life.

    Also I turned twenty yesterday and I wrote a poem on the cake. So yeah check it out and tell me what you think…..

    http://franzical.wordpress.com/2014/11/19/birthday-cake/

    Reply

    1. Hey wow, happy birthday. You’re so young. How does it feel to be out of the ‘teens’? I hope you had a blast. I’m heading over to your blog now to check out the cake poem. What an awesome idea.
      Thanks for your kind words about my loop poem.
      🙂

      Reply

      1. Hey thanks. And as for teens. I’m glad to be out. And your welcome. 🙂

      3. Yep and that feeling like I haven’t accomplished anything major. I feel like now I can really start to grow because I planted my seeds in a place called WordPress. Now after years of blogging and failing. I finally I think i’m right where I want to be. People say everything happens for a reason, their damn right it does and yes you will be hearing from me likewise 😉

      4. Good stuff. And I wouldn’t worry too much about feeling like you haven’t accomplished nothing major. Keep your eyes and heart on God and he will direct you. You’re just starting out my friend. And I’m glad we’ve met here. I look forward to seeing how you grow here too.
        🙂

      5. Awesome! And keeping my heart and eyes on God that’s something that I should work on doing…….

      7. Nice! Cool my birthday is on the 19th hers is on the 20th that’s cool…………how old is she? Lol just kidding. Tell her I said happy birthday. 🙂

      9. Lol is that a spoiler alert? So if your twice my age…that means….you are in your 30’s? Also about your niece…if shes single…..and if you want to play matchmaker…I don’t mind. Haha! XD

      10. Hahaha. I’m going to be 41, but I’ve been told I look 32. I know I definitely don’t feel 41. My niece is engaged. Plus, she doesn’t speak much English. Sorry, can’t help ya there. Lol.
        🙂

  13. Pingback: A Wordy Vote #2 | The Reverie

  14. Once again, your knack for choosing the right photograph to go with your words is spot on. I love the loop effect of your words. Very clever and well done.

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much Laura. This was fun. Usually I write from my own personal experiences or world view, but this time it was completely fictional. I’m very happy with the outcome. It was a challenge; something new for me.
      Thanks again.
      🙂

      Reply

      1. It’s hard to write fiction in poetry, isn’t it? At least, I know it is for me. It is rewarding though, to complete something so realistic and know inside that there is little truth behind the words.

      2. I agree. Thank you Laura. And yes, I do think it’s hard to write fiction within poetry. I think poetry, at least for me, is a very feeling-full, emotional and personal writing style.
        Thanks again Laura.
        🙂

  15. This is a terrific idea. How each line starts from the end of the last one. A very clever use of the prompt and endless inspiration for poems for other people. I already want to try this format because you have so enchanted me with it in your piece. I could see how the prompt words could be paired off into couplets but I was concerned about using them up too quick so I spaced them out instead and used them all twice. You nailed in beautifully and it is a superb, tightly wound piece.

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much. I’m truly humbled by your comment, and so glad you liked my poem and are encouraged to try this form. I have recently gained an appreciation for the various poetry forms that exist. I like having the boundaries and challenging myself to work within them. The loop form is fun. I’ve tried it a couple of times before, and when I was considering this specific wordle, I knew it was the the form I wanted to use. Thanks again. 🙂

      Reply

  16. Wow, Staci, I love the loop poetry form too and the way you’ve used is superb! Specially how you arranged it by laying equal stress on both ‘he’ and ‘she’. ❤
    About regrets, yes there are so many! I don't even know if I deal with them rightly. I ignore my regrets, black them out, sometimes it comes back all at once, as in the past few days somethings have been bothering me quite a lot, and I don't know how to deal with them. How should we deal with regrets or you know 'things I shouldn't have said'? What's your PoV, Staci? I'd love to know. 🙂

    Reply

    1. Awwwww, thank you so much sweetie. You always encourage me.
      I think life experience teaches us how to deal with regrets oftentimes. We learn as we go through the experience, right? I’m very hands-on so I think that would be right for me. I hate to admit it, but unfortunately I’m quite a procrastinator. Especially when there is a regret that I need to confront and deal with.
      Hmmmm, my PoV… I think first of all you have to try and not let your feelings rule you, which is VERY difficult, believe me. When I’m flustered and full of feelings and can’t make a right decision, or a well-thought-out decision about how to deal with something, I usually talk to my hubby. He’s a strong thinker, and being that he isn’t the one having difficulty with the feelings, he really helps me to think logically.
      Being that I’m a Christian, I read the Bible and look to it for developing my world-view. There’s a book within the Bible called, Proverbs. It’s a great book that deals with common-sense issues and has tons of little nuggets of wisdom. I found the following site that has a few verses from it about seeking advice. Maybe you’d like to read it.
      Believe me, being quite an impulsive person, I have stuck my foot in my mouth one to many times. But you know, it’s a very admirable quality to admit one has done something they shouldn’t have and say ‘sorry.
      I hope this helps a bit sweetie. I feel for you. I have suffered great turmoil myself.
      Love and hugs to you.
      🙂 ❤

      Reply

      1. I know, right? I have the tendency to procrastinate as well. Confrontation is always left for ‘later’ which never comes. I have been having flashback dream (triggered by a fight I had with my brother) a few days ago about how rude and insensitive I was to so many friends back in Uni – especially with one of them who was always trying to help me but I did not want to accept it. I don’t know why but I have this strong ‘moral code’ and if someone tries to play me out of it, I become the worst person to deal with. 😐
        Yes, precisely what you said ‘stop feelings from ruling us’ but just like this poetry – it’s a loop! That too a nested loop, VERY difficult to get out of it indeed!
        It’s great that your husband helps you with the logical reasoning of an issue! Even if after hours of straining my puny brain I muster the courage to face the person or a problem, I always manage to convince myself for ‘some other day’ and go back to drinking tea. Haha, it sounds funny now that I read what I just wrote. Really though, now you know why I drink SO much, right? ^_^
        I’ll try to read the Proverbs book within the Bible. It will help me, for sure, if it helps you!
        Wow, thank you Staci, my head feels LIGHTER!! Your words are ALWAYS a great help, my dearest! You understand and that matters more than anything! ❤ ❤
        Hehehe, now back to tea 😀

  18. This is a really great poem Staci! Every time I visit your blog – I learn something new. Thank you for always increasing my knowledge 🙂

    Reply

    1. Oh wow! Really? That’s awesome. Thank you so much for sharing that with me. Thank you also for the compliment and for reading Anjali.
      🙂

      Reply

  19. Loop poetry is one of my favorites. The repeat of the words adds great impact. If you had asked me if I had regrets a year or so, I would have told you, “yes, too many to count.” But now, I can say that those things that I regretted are the very things that God is using and will use for His glory. I’m so grateful that He is the Great Recycler!!! Nothing I’ve been through will be wasted…nothing. Now if I could just get out of His way and let Him recycle it would be good!!! Lol

    Reply

    1. Oh I know, me too. I think so too.
      “I can say that those things that I regretted are the very things that God is using and will use for His glory.”
      –AWESOME! That’s great Kirsten. It makes me think of that verse (and Crystal Lewis song), “He gives beauty for ashes”.
      I love that last part too. I would so love to stop being a dumb sheep and always be willing and ready to get out of HIs way. Let Him do His work, because He is the master mind, isn’t He?
      Thanks Kirsten.
      🙂

      Reply

      1. He is the Mastermind and He has such fabulous plans for our lives. His plans are filled with a hope that us ours for the taking. I love the Scripture of beauty from ashes. It gave me so much hope when my life lay in ruins! Xoxo

      2. Well said, my friend. It really stinks when we’re ruled by our pasts and twisted mind-sets. But when He comes in, as the Mastermind He is, and patiently changes those wrong mind-sets and heals the past, ohhhhhhhhhhh it’s awesome.
        Thanks Kirsten.
        🙂

      3. So very true!! Thats why 2Cor5:17 is a verse that I cling to!! He is always changing our hearts to become more and more healed.

  20. Really good loop poem. Though all your poems are always fantastic in different ways. I often find myself regretting relationships that I have been in that weren’t good for me. I have a problem with being too nice sometimes. It can lead to much despair. But I’m changing day by day into something better, I hope. Hope you’re having a great week! 🙂

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much Benjamin. You always encourage me, and I am truly thankful for it.
      Oh yes, regretting relationships. Relationships are tough, aren’t they? Dealing with people’s emotions and personalities is not an easy thing. I also have had my fair share of unhealthy relationships that were far from good for me. Degrading actually. I think it’s beautiful that you are ‘too nice’. Please don’t ever lose that. Just make sure you’re with someone that truly deserves your sweetness.
      I’m having a great week so far. How has your’s been going?
      🙂

      Reply

      1. You’re welcome. 🙂 I don’t know if relationships are tough, but relationships with the wrong people are tough. Degrading is not good, but those are some of the same I’ve fallen into actually. I’m glad to have fallen out of those ones now. I don’t know; they say: “nice guys finish last”. But I think the rest is true. Very wise words. That’s wonderful your week is going so well. My week is going fine. I’ve learn to complain less. All things can be wonderful with the right attitude. Have a beautiful evening!

      2. Oh I can assure you Benjamin, all long-term relationships are tough. At least at one time or another. Two individuals with different emotions, personalities, ways of seeing things, etc, living together and having to put up with each other, and change and grow… it’s not an easy thing.
        Yes, attitude makes a huge difference. You have a beautiful evening yourself, my friend.
        🙂

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