We live in a fallen, fractured world of broken people and fragmented value systems. Some are fortunate enough to have a happy and healthy upbringing, but I would dare to say that they are in the minority.
I lived in fear of my dad, and don’t know what it means to have or feel affection towards him. I’m not one to lick past wounds and wallow in sorrow; however, I do recognize that our upbringing shapes us and makes us into who we eventually become as adults. For example, my mom used to make my brothers and me watch documentaries on what drugs can do to someone. I’m so glad she did, because although I dabbled in a little experimentation in my youth, drugs always frightened the heck out of me.
Another personal example, and as stated above, is that I grew up in fear of my dad. He was a broken alcoholic and had many unhealthy issues that were never dealt with. Because of that, my childhood was robbed from me. Because of that, my idea of family was distorted and messed up.
I have worked on finding healing in this area. When I was a fairly new Christian, I would leave for work in the morning at peace, after spending some quiet time with God. By the time I got home, I was full of anxiety. When I felt anxious, I always thought I was doing something that God didn’t approve of. One day He showed me that I feared him the way I feared my dad, and that was revelatory for me.
How about you? Do you believe that we live in a broken world? Do you think that our upbringing makes a huge difference on our emotional and mental well-being?
stacilys.wordpress.com 
When you say we live in a broken world, that presupposes that at one time it was not broken. I disagree with that. We live in the world as it is. Life is not fair. I do agree with you that nature/nurture plays a big part in who we are.
Hi Kurt, thank you so much for your honest comment. So glad you stopped by and entered the conversation.
I, for one, believe that the world was created perfect, and then became broken. Soooo, for me it’s not a case of presupposition, but of world view. I completely agree that life is not fair. But why isn’t it? And why is the world the way it is? I think all of us have our quirks, problems and negative experiences, wouldn’t you say?
Thanks again Kurt, and I will be by to check out your blog very soon.
Have a wonderful week.
🙂
Hello my dear friend!!! So very nice to see you…I hope you are well and that you had a great WINTER (I almost wrote summer!) 😉
I love your art…and of course your words…and yes I believe it is a fractured world but that our job here is to heal!! Our childhoods seem so similar and I would be lying if I said it didn’t affect us as adults. I just finished (and I mean just) a book called “Legacy of the Heart…The Spiritual Advantages of a Painful Childhood” by Wayne Muller…FANTASTIC!!! SO MANY GEMS INSIDE…I found myself going…Yes…YES…YES!!! more often than not.
So good to see you my friend…hope you are all healed and that your project went well ♡♡♡
Hi Lorrie, so great to see you here, and thank you so much for your lovely comment.
I did have a nice winter actually, and I can safely say it is more than over. It’s so warm here right now, and it’s only the first day of Spring. The temperatures are in the 80s.
Thank you so much for your kind and generous appreciation of my art and words. I’m so glad you enjoyed this one.
“Our childhoods seem so similar”
–Oh really? I’m sorry to hear that Lorrie. The unfortunate reality of far too many, don’t you think? It really does affect us, doesn’t it. I’m so glad to have gone through my healing. It was tough, but I came through.
I have never heard of that book, “Legacy of the Heart”, but I must agree that there are definitely spiritual things we can learn from a painful childhood.
I am still actually working on my project. It’s a devotional book called, “Art and Devotion”. I’m in the last stages of it. It’s a lot of work.
Thanks again, my lovely friend, and please have a wonderful day.
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Best of luck, dear Staci! Please keep us b posted on when it is published 🙂 🙂 ♡♡
Thank you Lorrie.
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I really like how you talked about your upbringing and how that affected your view of God in the beginning. I 100 percent agree that we live in a broken world. Everyday, among work, friends, even family, I see how people struggle to understand, relate, and just simply work with each other. Growing up, I wouldn’t say that my childhood was bad–there are parts I still hold on to, which are not good, but I see how the negative parts of it affected how I related to and even viewed people in my adult life. That alone, did take over my life and it wasn’t until I began to understand God that I started to become the person I believe I was meant to be and understand others better. But in a broken world, even that can be challenging at times. Thank you Staci for this post and welcome back!
Hi Crystal, so great to see you here, and thanks for the comment and welcome back.
You mentioned something that is very key, “it wasn’t until I began to understand God that I started to become the person I believe I was meant to be and understand others better. “. I feel the same way. And you are right about it being challenging. So longing we live here, there will be challenges.
Blessings to you Crystal and have a great Thursday.
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Hi, I understand what you are saying and I am not saying I disagree, but I also believe that we can create our own now and future,nothing we can do will ever change the past, and we always need to release it and create what we really want.It is so true that everyday is a new day, Have a great day,
Brooke
Hi Brooke, it’s so nice to meet you. Thank you so much for enriching the conversation here.
I wrote a post once that was all about living in the now, in the present. About not licking past wounds, and not living only for the future. All we have is the now, right?
“we can create our own now and future,nothing we can do will ever change the past, and we always need to release it and create what we really want.”
–I believe life is all about making choices. Those choices determine the outcome, right? Soooo, in a sense we do create our now. I don’t think we can control everything, and every circumstance, but we can definitely make a difference in our quality of life by the choices we make.
You also have a great day, and a wonderful evening.
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I agree, the choices we make define everything, I have made the wrong one before now, however the more I become aligned and my awareness sharpens the easier the choice is to make in the right direction, nice to meet you to and thank you for your comment, it is much appreciated
Oh believe me, I have made wrong choices too. I think we all have, right. 😉
Nice to meet you too Brooke, and you’re more than welcome.
Have a wonderful day.
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You too 🙂
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Stunning! We do live in broken times, Staci. I know that even with proper upbringing this world can be challenging. So many don’t have that and their prospects for being whole are slim. You art is beautiful, Staci and the poem reminded me of Bright Eyes by Art Garfunkel.
Heyyyy Rob. Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. I’m so glad you think this is ‘beautiful’.
“I know that even with proper upbringing this world can be challenging.”
— Oh my gosh, YES! So long as we live in this world, and deal with people, there will be challenges.
I really have to check out this song by Art Garfunkel. Off to Google it now.
Have a great day Rob.
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I hope that you like the song, Staci. It’s certainly meant as a compliment to you and your work. 🙂
Awwwww, I’m sure I will. I’ll let you know once I get the chance to listen to it ok.
😉
Good to see you, Staci. This is a beautiful testament to your ability to hold strong and create. Forgiveness is a tough one but it heals. I know it has helped me move forward. Our broken world needs each one of us to try. Love to you. Welcome back.
Heyyyy Audrey, so great to see you. Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement.
Yea, forgiveness can be pretty darn tough, and it definitely isn’t synonymous with forgetting. But it is freeing and necessary for health and wellness, isn’t it. Plus, we all need forgiveness, so why shouldn’t we give it, right?
Love to you back, and thanks again Audrey.
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Right. I offer forgiveness and am terrible at accepting it.
Awwwww. Like many, my friend.
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Ha! Yes, I hear you.
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Fractured, contemptuous, evil, broken world….for sure. I love in the Bible, the ‘but God’ scriptures. Even when our upbringing is hard, and our World is broken, He still shows up in surprising ways and reminds us that He loves us. It’s a short stop here. We get to shine the light.
Your poetry and art are some of those bright spots!
Heyyyyy Wendy, so great to see you, and it’s good to be back. Oh yes, the ‘but God’ scriptures. Haha, so true. You know, the older I get, the more I realize just how short our life here is. May we shine our light brightly and sprinkle salt wherever we go.
Thank you so much for such a sweet compliment. My hope and prayer is that they would be bright spots.
Have a great day Wendy.
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Hugs to you Staci! Have an awesome day too!
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DEFINATELY – I Believe that Our Upbringing makes a huge difference on our Emotional and Mental Well-Being?
That’s why this Broken World has produced Psychopath and Rapists.
You make a good point. Yes, psychopaths and rapists, among other dark practices.
Nice to meet you Cattie, and thank you for your comment.
Have a wonderful day.
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Hope we meet AGain and Again and Again………………….
😉
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Staci, welcome back! Beautiful artwork, and a very powerful and poignant message conveyed in the wing. “Wings to fly” is a brilliantly honest poem. I admire what you’ve captured, the idea of moving forward. Many won’t agree with me, however these are my thoughts on this topic. Our upbringing is an integral piece of the true self. I believe that while we have the ability to move forward, we carry our past with us. The past is relevant and valuable, it should not be forgotten. While parts of the past may be unpleasant, it’s these parts that are significant and important to help shape our future. If we deny the existence of our past, then we deny who we are, and what we’re made of. We do live in challenging if not broken times, just take a look around.
Staci another wonderful post. As always I find your writing most engaging, insightful and thought-provoking. Wishing you a wonderful week, take good care. ~ Mia 🙂 ❤
Hi Mia. Thank you so much for such a great comment and your kind words of appreciation.
I completely agree with you. We most definitely carry our past with us. And like you said, ‘it should not be forgotten’. We can forgive those that have hurt us (and hopefully those we’ve hurt, forgive us too), but forgiveness does not mean and shouldn’t mean ‘to forget’. I like to think of the unpleasant things in life as being a teacher. We can moan and grown and complain about these experiences, or we can allow them to teach us and shape us, right 😉
Hahaha @just look around. Yea, I have a difficult time understanding how some people just don’t realize this about the world. Hmmmmm…
Thank you, once again Mia. You always bring such enriching discussion here.
Please have a wonderful Wednesday and take care.
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You’re welcome Staci, my pleasure. This is so true. “I like to think of the unpleasant things in life as being a teacher”, absolutely allowing them to shape us. Hmmmmm… is right, how is that even possible? Wishing you a wonderful Wednesday too, take care. 🙂 ❤
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Bravo! Beautiful post and thanks for sharing these events of your childhood. It is a broken world and most of us are walking broken souls, some worse and more serious than others. I loved your mixed media post as well. Love and hugs, N 🙂 ❤
Ohhhh, thank you so much Natalie. I’m so glad you enjoyed this. You are so right. Most of us are walking broken souls, whether people realize it or not.
Thank you again Natalie, for your kind and generous words of appreciation.
By the way, I am not going to France. Maybe some other time.
Love and hugs – 🙂 ❤
I figured that since you hadn’t said anything about it. Take care my friend and have a good week❣❌⭕️
Thanks Natalie.
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👍❤️😊
Good to see you are back; and I see you are ready to write about important topics. A person who has mentored me has said, “once we are born again, we need to be fathered again, parented again.” I share some of your experience and try to speak to my journey of being fathered again here: https://rhfoerger.wordpress.com/2015/11/06/belonging/
Grace to you.
HI Russ, great to see you. How was your summer? We are in our Spring (which is more like a Canadian summer – hahaha).
What a great quote, and so true. Thanks for sharing that with me. Thank you also for sharing the link to your experience. I will be over to read it soon. 🙂
Yes, I agree with your point that our upbringing and the environment we grow up accustomed to , has a huge impact on how we look at life – the bigger picture. But I also believe it should not limit us; how we look at things because of what we went through in our life is just the default setting. I’m sure we all have the capability to break through and have a fresh perspective if we want to. Wonderful thoughtful post as usual, Stacilys.
Hi Sharu. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here. I agree with you. The default setting. Our parents raise us the best way the know how (at least, hopefully), and then our we are shaped by our surroundings and experiences as well, right?
We are pretty resilient creatures. We definitely have the ability to break through.
Hope you’re having a lovely weekend.
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Oh man…this hits home so hard Staci I can’t even….I’ve suffered from the safe childhood wounds and I still haven’t found a way to truly come in terms with everything. But I’m slowly getting through. I do have hope. I do.
*from the same
Ohhhh, hahaha. I was wondering about that ‘safe’.
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Hehehe oops my bad🙈🙈
Hi Zee, thank you so much for sharing that here. I believe most people have suffered some what from certain things in their childhood. It’s hard not to in this world. I know it took me a good long while to heal. The 20s are a hard time in life I think. Not really figuring out totally who you are yet and all. I’m rooting for ya sweetie.
Please have a lovely week, my friend.
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Thank you very Staci. You are very understanding. You are right, these are very confusing times. It’s so nice to have someone like you around ❤️
Glad to see you back dear Staci! Your art work is truly inspiring! I’m sad that you, and countless others, have had childhoods of fear and suffering. This should not be and I know it grieves God’s heart. It was a perfect world when God created it. However, He made free-will beings, so it is never His fault what we choose to do. The good news is that our Heavenly Father is perfect and loves us with an everlasting love! He cares for us and will help anyone who calls upon His Name.
Peace be with you in Jesus’ Name!
❤ carmen
Carmen, I completely agree. He does everything perfect. The imperfect comes from us.
Thank you so much, and please have a lovely week.
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Lovely Staci, and good to see you back! I have nominated you for an award, please feel free to accept or decline 🙂 Here is the link: https://forgottenmeadows.wordpress.com/2016/09/25/black-cat-and-blue-sea-award/
Awwww, thank you so much Neha. That’s so sweet and kind of you. Never heard of this award. You’ve peaked my interest.
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Lovely card dear Staci, sorry to hear about your relation with your father. The world can sometimes be mean and another wonderful. Depend of many things, so it’s always better we try to focus on the present moment, trying to forget what has happened. Well, I’m cleaning up my blog, so deleting lots of people I follow, it’s easier to delete everyone and them follow back the important ones. So don’t be surprised when you see I’m following you again! 🙂
Heyyyy Elizabeth, great to see you here. Thank you for the encouragement. A blog clean-up eh. It can take a while, can’t it? I need to do something like that at some point. Hahaha. Time can be my worst enemy.
Ok then, I’ll keep a look out then for your follow.
Hope you’re doing well. How did you like your trip to Brazil? You came during the cold months. Hahaha. Not so cold though eh.
Have a great week Elizabeth.
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I love my trip, you are very luck to live there! The people, the food, the heat, everything. Rio is a crazy city but the beaches are wonderful. My son loves the small city in MG. He wants to go back there and spend more time. It’s far but it’s worth the trip!
Ohhhh, I’m so glad you had a good experience. I just don’t understand how you came to know if that specific place in Minas. What made you decide to go there?
I agree wholeheartedly with both statements. I do believe that negatives in upbringing or because of the brokenness of the world can shape a positive. For example, my brotherinlaw is the most faithful husband ever because he lived in the shadow of unfaithfulness and divorce.
Hi Mark, how are you? It’s been so long.
That’s great about your brother-in-law. Sad about the divorce and pain that he went through, but awesome about his faithfulness.
Have a great week.
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Good posts, beautiful blog.
Congratulations.
Welcome to see my creations:
http://paintdigi.wordpress.com
Thank you so much paintdige. I will definitely be by today ok.
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You’r welcome 🍁
Beautiful poem and art, Staci. I think we do live in a broken world. So much hates nowadays, not only because of the upbringing but as well how society punishes others who are different than them. But I like the idea of Lorrie’s that we are here to heal. It’s our responsibilities as well to heal and be more open to positive change.
Hello Indah, so great to see you here. And thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I hear you about society. There is a lot of pressure to conform, thanks to the media and societal pulls.
I agree that it is in part our responsibility to heal. So many just don’t know how to though, which is unfortunate.
Please have a lovely weekend, my friend.
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Upbringing does have a major impact on your life. Especially if kids suffer in their childhood. It makes them all bitter.
But you know, I too had a miserable childhood, with my parents fighting and separating always, shunted like a ball between them. It made me bitter.
But you know, how I stopped drowning myself in Self-Pity ? I read stories about people who had Worse and Worst Childhoods than me. And I thanked God for saving me from those horrible things.
Cut out Self-Pity frorm your Life. There are People carrying bigger fatter Crosses then You and me.
Yea, I don’t think I ever got really bitter. I mean, there are things that really bugged me, but I never stayed bitter. I never felt sorry for myself either. And I’m not one for licking past wounds, especially now that I’m older and have life experiences and growth. All of my healing was a very personal and intimate thing with God. Only he knows what needs to be dealt with really.
Your way of dealing with self-pity reminds me of a friend of mine. She told me that whenever she feels sorry for herself, she just reads the paper. There’s so much bad news that she starts to thank God that her life isn’t that bad like what she reads. Haha.
“Cut out Self-Pity frorm your Life. There are People carrying bigger fatter Crosses then You and me.”
–I don’t have self-pity and I more than know that there are people carrying bigger and fatter crosses than us.
Have a great weekend.
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I was just helping to share what experiences I went through. Because I self-pitied myself for 4 years almost.
Hi Cattie, I’m so sorry to hear that. However, I’m glad that you have grown through that, and that you’re seeing the up side to life.
Bless you and please have a wonderful week.
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We have to Learn to make Lemonade out of the Limes, Life throws at us sometimes.
I totally agree. I even wrote a post earlier this year about making lemonade out of the lemons in our lives.
Have a great week.
🙂 🙂
Send me the link of that post.
https://stacilys.wordpress.com/2016/01/20/lemons-lessons/
Absolutely agree with you. We are shaped by our environment especially when we are in the formative years.
Sorry to hear your story as regards to your Dad. But I am sure you are living a much better life now.
Hi Alok, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here. I was away for a while, but I’m back now, and it’s great to be back.
No need to be sorry. I’ve dealt with all that stuff in my life. No hard feelings. Life is what it is, and we all go through our own sufferings. And yes, I am living a much fuller and more content life now, thanks to God.
Please have a lovely weekend.
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Happy to know…keep enjoying 🙂
🙂 Thanks Alok 🙂
This is beautiful. Poignant but inspiring. Beautiful post.
Thank you so much Joel. I’m so glad that you enjoyed this.
Please have a lovely weekend.
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You’re welcome Stacily. Have a lovely weekend too.
Hey! Welcome back, Stacy! I was so busy that I missed you and I am so sorry.
I agree with you, we live in a broken world. In a world where everybody wants to push you down.
You know, we had a saying in the old days: “If my goat died, it would be better if neighbor’s goat will die, too”. Now, that saying has changed: “it would be better if the neighbor will die, too”.
Again, welcome back, Stacy!
Hugs and kisses ❤
Heyyyyy Monica, great to see you here. And yes, your comment was in my spam. Gotta love it when that happens eh. Thanks for letting me know.
Thank you so much for the kind welcome back. No worries about the delay. I am also very busy these days. I’m only able to blog a bit lately, but I am back.
I will be by your little corner of the blogosphere very soon ok. 😉
Have a wonderful day sweetie.
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I am glad to hear that, Stacy 🙂 Have a awesome week ❤
You too.♡
We definitely live in a broken world. I think most people have family issues that they’ve had to deal with or are in the process of overcoming. I’m sorry to hear about your dad. You turned out pretty great though. I love the drawing and the poem. ❤ xx
I definitely understand that we live in a broken world. My father was also and still is an alcoholic. Our upbringing does affect us, until we decide to take a stand and say “No, I will NOT become my past. I will break the cycle!” Breaking unhealthy cycles start with us. Great post!!! 🙂
Thank you so much Sonyo. I’m glad you liked this one. I’m sorry to hear about your dad though. I know how it is. I like that @No, I will not become my past.” Completely agree. I’m not in to licking past wounds. Look forward, right.
Have a great day.
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Yep, look forward. Have a great day as well! 🙂
I absolutely agree. As a missionary and a prayer minister, the effects of past hurts and especially childhood trauma on people is obvious. I still remember the first person I prayed for to address childhood wounds. I knew her quite well. But after a process prayer and healing she was a different person in such a wonderful way. I dream that everyone can experience that kind of transformation.
Nice to meet you, and thank you for stopping by and commenting.
So you’re a missionary? That’s great. What organization are you with?
Nice to meet you too. Well I have a sending church: Community Church, Topeka, KS. I have been here in Hong Kong 23 years, starting as a missionary kid. As such I am more connected locally than to the States at this point.
Oh wonderful. I was in Hong Kong for a while. I work with YWAM and started out in Hong Kong. I’ve since been all over, but reside in Brazil.
Have a great day.
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YWAM, so I am guessing you were on the base in Tuen Mun? And Brazil that’s super cool. 🙂
Oh no, I was with YWAM in Hong Kong in 2000/2001. The base is Tuen Mun didn’t exist back then. I was in Yuen Long.
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Right. That’s cool. 🙂