Struggles and Stability

“I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise”.

Way back about 18 years ago (more or less) someone told me that the struggles I was going through were necessary for my growth. In order to be stable and have a firm foundation, I needed to go through them. At the time I hated it. I was an emotional wreck, constantly questioning myself, my thoughts, my faith, my feelings… I used to be run by my feelings, but have since learned that life can’t be lived that way. Oftentimes feelings blind and deceive.

I recently came upon the above quote in the book of Isaiah. it speaks of the rebuilding of a city with precious stones, such as stones of turquoise. Turquoise has been known to symbolize wholeness, spiritual grounding and emotional balance.

I believe my friend was right. I’ve gone through a lot, but it really has served me well. I have been rebuilt with stones of turquoise.

How do you see the struggles of life? Do you allow them to cause growth?

Wings to fly

Wings to fly – Poem on Mixed media

We live in a fallen, fractured world of broken people and fragmented value systems. Some are fortunate enough to have a happy and healthy upbringing, but I would dare to say that they are in the minority.

I lived in fear of my dad, and don’t know what it means to have or feel affection towards him. I’m not one to lick past wounds and wallow in sorrow; however, I do recognize that our upbringing shapes us and makes us into who we eventually become as adults. For example, my mom used to make my brothers and me watch documentaries on what drugs can do to someone. I’m so glad she did, because although I dabbled in a little experimentation in my youth, drugs always frightened the heck out of me.

Another personal example, and as stated above, is that I grew up in fear of my dad. He was a broken alcoholic and had many unhealthy issues that were never dealt with. Because of that, my childhood was robbed from me. Because of that, my idea of family was distorted and messed up.

I have worked on finding healing in this area. When I was a fairly new Christian, I would leave for work in the morning at peace, after spending some quiet time with God. By the time I got home, I was full of anxiety. When I felt anxious, I always thought I was doing something that God didn’t approve of. One day He showed me that I feared him the way I feared my dad, and that was revelatory for me.

How about you? Do you believe that we live in a broken world? Do you think that our upbringing makes a huge difference on our emotional and mental well-being?

 

Caged Bird

Caged Bird – poem on mixed media

Childhood is a very important time in a person’s life. Those who raise children can either make or break them. If broken during these fragile, formative years, the outcome can be drastic. It can take a whole lifetime to heal, and oftentimes there are wounds that scar until death.

In an article by Livestrong.com, Heather Weiss said, “Nurturing relationships in a family are critical for the healthy development of a child. If a child feels safe, secure, and loved in their family, it helps with the formation of their self-esteem and well-being. It can also lead to a child who is more socially competent and has better communication skills than a child who does not feel these family connections.”

Any thoughts? Do you agree?

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I wrote this poem a while ago. I had originally created a mixed media piece to go with it, but wanted to change it. This is the new version.

Wings to fly

I’m of the belief that we live in a fallen, fractured world of many broken people and fragmented value systems. Not trying to be a downer. Really. I write this because of what I’ve been dealing with lately. Like many, the world over, their childhoods weren’t a time of happy-go-lucky and peaches and cream. I lived in fear of my dad, and don’t know what it means to have/feel affection towards him. I’m not one to lick past wounds and wallow in sorrow over these events. However, I do recognize that our upbringing shapes us and makes us into who we eventually become as adults. For example, my mom used to make my brothers and me watch documentaries on what drugs can do to someone. I’m so glad she did, because although I dabbled in a little experimentation in my youth, drugs always frightened the heck out of me. Thanks mom. Another example. I grew up in fear of my dad. He was a broken alcoholic and had many unhealthy issues that were never dealt with. Because of that, my childhood was robbed from me. Because of that, my idea of family was distorted and messed up.

Lately I’ve been actively working on finding healing in this area. When I was a fairly new Christian, I would leave for work in the morning at peace, after spending some quiet time with God. By the time I got home, I was a bundle of anxiety. When I felt anxious, I always thought I was doing something wrong and that God didn’t approve of. One day He showed me that I fear him the way I feared my dad, and that was revelatory for me. Now I’m starting to see even deeper issues and working on healing from that.

How about you? Do you believe that we live in a broken world? Do you think that our upbringing makes a huge difference on our emotional and mental well-being?

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On a happy note, I’m super excited that I’m doing this mixed media course. The above piece is from the first class. Have a great weekend. 🙂

Dawn of the Night… …Dark of the Day

Dawn of the night
Dark of the day
Death of the body
Rotting away
Death of the soul
Agonizing pain
Losing self
Enemy’s gain

Bones without flesh
Body without breath
Scattered to the winds
Life rescinds

Dark of the night
Dawn of the day
Death flees the body
Dig up the grave
Resurrected soul
No more stains
Finding self
Enemy’s pain

Bones collect flesh
Soul receives breath
Holistic health
Timeless wealth

This poem was written in response to The Reverie’s weekly prompt, which is the song, “Bones”, by MsMr.  As soon as I heard the song I fell in love with it. I knew I couldn’t let this one pass, so here it is.

Would love to know your interpretation hmmmmmm……

🙂

Naked and Exposed

 

Are you a private person? Do you like to keep some things to yourself?

I used to be very open with others. In fact, I used to think of myself as somewhat of an open book. I was also younger, inexperienced, and maybe a little less wiser. I remember though, when I first made a decision to believe in God and to live for Him, I began to have a much stronger conscience. I would feel anxiety at times because I felt as though there were certain things I just may like to hide from Him. Things that I didn’t want him to know. Maybe thoughts that weren’t always the purest and morally correct. One day, however, I was walking home from school and it suddenly dawned on me. I can’t hide a single thing from my creator. He knows all of my thoughts. All of my actions. All of the motives of my heart. He even knows the words I’m going to speak before they reach my lips. Then I realized, that in Him knowing all, and that He still accepts me just as I am, there was great freedom and comfort in that. All the wrong that I had ever done, and would ever do, could be wiped away, simply because of His amazing mercy and grace.

How could I not surrender my all to Him.

Now back to you. Are you a private person or are you an open book? Do you ever wonder, or think about your motives, and if they are ever seen or known?

Wholeness

Last week I posted a poem called, “Words, Mind, Emotions“, and shared how sometimes I find it difficult to calm my mind. I read something today that just hit me: “The world is so complex and over stimulating that you can easily lose your sense of direction“. Do you find this to be true? I do.

I began writing the above recently. It’s a song and a prayer. When I get flustered, confused, worried, etc, I come to my secret place and meet with my creator, and He seems to have a special way of just breathing peace and new life into my heart. As if He’s saying, “I know you don’t understand it all. I know that the world bombards you, screaming their ideas and thoughts. My child, you will never understand it all. Rest in me and know that I have everything under control.”

Now that’s comforting. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

How about you? Do you find this world to be complex and over stimulating? Do you ever feel like you lose your sense of direction? What do you do about it?

*source: Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young